Consequences
by ChryedLover
Summary: New Multi Chapter fic. Chryed have been together for 3 years when Syed falls ill. Is all as it seems? Chapters do get darker as it goes on so rating will increase to T. Please review Completed: 9/9/10 xx
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've kind of nicked this from my other domestic fic because I wanted to get the ball rolling on this. Some parts are the same but others I've changed. It's my next "big" fic and is multi chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Do not own EastEnders or the characters. Nor do I make profit from this. **

**Warning: Start fluffy but be warned .. chapters get much darker**

**Rating: PG12? (Currently)**

**POV: Syed's  
Setting: 2013 – Chryed have moved away and have been together for 3 years. Flashback chapter further on :)**

**Appreciate feedback and reviews :)**

I groaned quietly, as I felt a cold flannel pressed against my forehead.

"_Babe, you're burning up again"_ Christian's voice rang out through our flat.

"_It's cold" _I moaned quietly.

The flannel was removed, I felt a hand reach down and touch my forehead, I opened my eyes blinking against the bright light which pierced through me.

"_You're way too hot Syed"_

"_I know I am" _I chuckled quietly instantly regretting it as I felt my tongue scratch against the roof of my mouth.

"_Here have some water"_ He stepped out from behind her holding a glass of water. Upon noticing it, I realised just how parched I really was.

I never took my eyes off him.

"_Drink up Syed"_

I struggled to sit up on the soft mattress. I felt his hand slip around my waist supporting me. I steadied myself on his arm, while he bought the glass to my lips with the other hand. I sipped the water gratefully allowing the water to rush through my body, immediately quenching my thirst. I looked up at him as he pulled it away. I felt my breath catch in my throat at his concerned face.

"_Thank you" _

"_You're welcome" _

"_Are you hungry"?_

I grimaced at the thought of food. I couldn't hold anything down with this virus.

"_Not really"_

"_You need to eat something"_

I pulled a face registering the churn in my stomach.

"_Did I ever tell you that I was a nurse in a former life"?_

"_Only about 20 times"_

"_Could have given Mother Teresa a run for her money"_

I rolled my eyes at him before closing them. I settled back into the mattress

"_I just need some rest, I'll be fine in the morning I promise"_

Instead of a reply I felt a hand reach down and stroke a lock of hair from my eyes. I opened my eyes again smiling at him. The look of love on his face was clear to see. I felt my stomach do a small somersault.

"_I love you". _

I smiled back at him.

"_I know you do" _

I watched him as he stripped down before joining me on the bed. I went to cuddle up in his arms. I felt rather than saw him pull back. I looked at him quizzically.

"_You're riding a temperature close to 37 degrees. Anything more and I'll have to take you to hospital"_

"_And what has that got to do with cuddling"?_

"_Well, I'll probably raise your temperature" _

I pouted at him, as his eyes searched my face.

"_You do that anyway"_

He smirked at me.

"_I'll make it up to you when you're better"_

"_Promise"?_

"_I promise"._

I smiled into the chaste kiss. Leaning back onto the bed, I closed my eyes. It felt weird not to have his body next to mine. Once this fever went, we'd be back to normal. I knew it.

A minute later I felt his hand entwine with mine. Smiling, I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**** Please be warned that this chapter gets MUCH darker. **

**Rating: PG**

**Let me know what you think please :) Definitely a new plot line so I'm a bit dubious on how it comes across and how it's perceived. Thank you :) **

**And I still love my reviews ;) **

**5 days later:**

**Christian's POV:**

Climbing out of bed, I walked over to the window and opened it allowing the gentle breeze to flit around the room. Syed was burning up again. I couldn't help but frown. Syed had been ill for nearly a week and hadn't improved at all. I'd taken him to our GP but he'd claimed Syed had a virus and to make sure he gets plenty of rest while staying hydrated with plenty of fluids.

Walking back towards our bed, I saw his figure hunched underneath a thin white sheet. Slowly, I peeled it off his damp skin. Beads of sweat trickled down the side of his face. I watched him sleep, my eyes never leaving his chest and it slowly raised and dropped with each passing breath. Picking up the thermometer that I'd purchased last week, I gently shook Syed.

"_Hmm" _

"_Sy, it's me. I just need to check your temperature"_

He blinked several times.

"_What time is it"? _His voice was thick from sleeping.

I picked up the watch from the side of the bed.

"_3.27am" _

He sighed and put his hand out for the thermometer. Ignoring him, I placed it in his mouth. I bit my lip anxiously as my eyes scanned him. He was sweating too much for the month of February. I poured some water from the jug on the bedside into a glass. I placed it back down as the 'beep' from the thermometer echoed around the room. I carefully removed it from Syed's mouth, dreading the number on the small screen in front of me.

"_CRAP! Sy, you need to get to hospital"_

"_What?"_

"_38 degrees isn't normal"_

"_Please Christian. I just want to sleep and its so hot in here"_

"_No, you need to go hospital, you're really ill. Please"_

"_I .. think.. I'm going to be sick"_

I felt his burning hand shove past me as he stumbled into the bathroom, retching. Grabbing my mobile, I followed him in. He was holding onto the side of the toilet as he retched time and time again. I rushed to the space on the floor next to him, punching 999 into the phone. Stroking the hair out of his face, I tried to calm him.

"_Hello? Ambulance please. No- No it's my boyfriend. He's got a temperature of 38 degrees. No I can't! He's vomiting now. I've been giving him cold compresses all evening. Can you just send – what? What? Are you joking"?_ Seething, I punched off the call and scrolled through my phonebook. I handed Syed some bog roll.

"_What happened"?_ he asked eventually pulling away from the toilet.

"_They can't send someone out for another 30 minutes. I have to ring Doctor Kyle.. oh Hello? It's Christian. Can you come around? It's Syed"._

**4 days later:**

**Syed's POV:**

I froze in my bed. I could sense something watching me. I breathed in deeply. My eyes were clenched shut for fear of what I might see. Hardly daring to breathe, I moved my hand slowly along the bed. He'd gone to work. I'd phone him. Put the TV on or something. Slowly the feeling subsided, and when I thought it was safe I opened my eyes. My eyes darted around the room, it was empty. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was just delirious from this virus. That's all. All the same I reached for the remote, switching the TV on.

**2 days later:**

**Syed's POV:**

I felt a shiver run the length of my spine. I was being watched again. I sat up in bed, my heart pumping wildly. My eyes flitted back to the corner of the room. My breathing slowed down as I saw a dark figure. Closing my eyes I started praying in my bed. I couldn't tear my eyes away from it. It knew I'd seen it. Where was Christian? Almost immediately, I heard the key turn in the lock. My eyes darted to the door and sure enough Christian walked through the door.

"_Hey. Are you alright?" _He looked surprised to see me awake.

"_Yeah.. I'm fine. I just err.. needed some water" _

"_Stay in bed and I'll bring some over now". _

I glanced over to the corner again. It was empty.

"_Is everything okay Sy"?_

"_Yeah.. everything's fine.. I just err thought I saw something. It's nothing". _

I attempted a smile as he bought the glass of water over to me. As I drunk it, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease that was around me.

**3 days later:**

**Syed's POV:**

I quietly shut the prayer door behind me. I didn't notice Christian was awake immediately.

"_What you doing up Sy? You didn't half give me a fright when I saw the bed was empty."_

"_I just.. had to .. pray"_

I noticed the pained expression on his face. Religion was very rarely discussed between us. It was one of the very few things I couldn't discuss with him and it was something Christian respected. He never interfered and I could see he was biting his lip.

"_Sy…"_

"_Christian.. please" _

"_I'm just saying.. you're not well. You need to take it easy"_

My head snapped up at his words and I couldn't help narrowing my eyes at him.

"_I'm not climbing Mount Everest. I'm praying. There's a big difference!"_

He nodded slowly.

"_I'm sorry". _

Immediately I felt a pang of regret.

"_I'm sorry Christian. I – I didn't mean too.."_ My voice trailed off. His eyes dropped from mine.

"_I shouldn't have said anything. Just.. come back to bed"?_

I gingerly walked over to him. It took me almost a minute to close the gap between us. Stripping down I realised I was breathing heavily. It'd taken me twice as long to pray. Every moment caused the room to spin and I needed to find solace in God. Something was really wrong. I cast away the doubt in the back of my mind. Neither of us spoke. I shuffled over to Christian and put my head on his shoulder, holding his arm next to me. It was harder than I imagined not being able to be held by him as I slept, but at least this way, I had a part of him. I heard a quiet sigh from him.

"_Goodnight Christian"_ My voice was muffled against his shoulder.

"_Night Syed. Love you"._ I kissed his shoulder by way of reply, closing my eyes.

A couple of hours later, I woke up sensing the same feeling of being watched. I didn't open my eyes. I felt a lump in my throat. Why was this happening? I'd prayed to Allah asking for it to stop. I was too frightened to admit it to Christian. He was already so worried about me and he was trying to run the business and look after me. I didn't want to worry him further.

I went to move. My body didn't respond. I tried again. Oh my God. Was I paralysed? Exerting all my strength into my arms, I tried to move them, failing. I opened my mouth to scream but no words left me. The silence crashed around my ears. It took me a moment to realise something was sitting on me, holding me down. The hairs on the back of my neck raised and an awful sense of realisation hit me. My ears pricked up at Christian's deep breathing. He was fast asleep. The sense of loneliness tugged at me. I had no way of communicating with him. Goosebumps run along my body as I knew it was that same dark figure sitting on me. The one that had been following me around since I'd fallen ill just over 2 weeks ago. My breathing turned shallow as I tried to get my body to fight against it. The sense of frustration set into me. As my breathing got more shallow, I knew what would happen. I was so scared. The fear ran through me. A moment later I heard Christian's alarm clock. I felt relief wash over me at his voice which was laced with sleep.

"_Syed, I need to check your temperature" _

I felt his arm gently shake me and I realised that I could move again. The relief I felt coursed through my body. My eyes flew open and I shot up in bed.

"_Sy? Why are you shaking"? _

I looked around the room. It was empty apart from Christian. I fell into his arms crying.

"_Sy, what's happened"?_

"_I – I .. "_ My tears took over as he rocked me against him.

"_Shhh! It's just a nightmare babe. I'm here" _

I only clutched at him sobbing harder into his shoulder.

How could I tell him that I didn't have a nightmare? I knew exactly what was wrong. I'd been cursed. And it wouldn't rest until it fulfilled its mission.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** **Sorry it took me so long to get on with this chapter.. I changed it multiple times because I wanted to try and get the characterization as close as I could to keep it true to the characters. **

**Anyways let me know on your thoughts please.. next chapter will be a lot faster :)**

**Sorry for the 'dark' chapter. **

**Love CC xx**

**2 days later:**

**Christian's POV:**

"_Are you sure you're going to be okay"?_

"_Yeah, I'll be fine"._

I watched him carefully. Something didn't feel right.

"_Sy.."_

"_Yeah"?_ I noticed the lump in his throat rise and fall again and the tone of his voice almost simultaneously. However, I didn't notice I was taking my jacket off again until I was halfway across the room, chucking it onto the chair behind me.

"_What's happened babe? Tell me please"_

"_I don- don't know. I tho- thought everythi- everything was fi- fine bu but- its no- not and I don- don't know wha- what to do and – I'm so s- scared Christian" _

I pulled him into my arms, hugging him tightly against me allowing him to cry. His sobs got louder as I rubbed his back soothing him. I didn't understand what was happening? My mind whizzed around in haste as I attempted to decipher his words. It hurt me to see Syed in such a bad state.

Eventually his sobs subsided and he pulled himself out of my arms shunning my arms. I handed him the water wordlessly and passed some tissue over to him. I waited impatiently for him to speak, not knowing what to expect.

"_Sy?"_

He took a deep breath, wiping his eyes. He rested his head against the headboard of our bed, looking straight ahead.

"_I – I don't know" _His voice was barely audible.

I felt my eyebrows pull together in confusion.

"_I think something's following me"_

I frowned at him, speaking slowly.

"_When you say.. something you mean…"?_

"_A spirit. A ghost. Call it what you will"_

I nodded my head slowly unsure of what to do. I'd never really had much belief in these things but Syed was looking so frightened..

"_How long?"_

"_Nearly a week"._

"_Why didn't you tell me? And why would Casper the Ghost be following you? Doesn't he know you're taken? _My attempt at a joke went down faster than a lead balloon.

"_That's not funny."_

"_Sorry, but it sounds like something out of Harry Potter…. Oh lighten up I'm only joking"_

"_It's in bad taste"_

"_I'm sorry Sy. I really am. Just, I don't really believe in these kinds of things which is why I'm having trouble understanding"._

"_Is that why it nearly suffocated me 2 nights ago"?_

I felt my eyes widen and my mouth drop open. My heart hammered against my chest. 2 night ago, but wasn't that ..

"_You woke up crying"._

He nodded to me slowly.

"_I thought I was gone Christian. I really did. I think someone's performed some form of black magic.. on me"._

My eyes locked onto his.

"_Black magic?"_

"_Why"_? I knew it was a stupid question as soon as it left my mouth. The  
statement from Syed didn't quite sink in immediately.

"_Why do you think Christian?"_

"_I'm sorry"_ I spoke quickly. I didn't have much knowledge on this and I didn't really have much belief. But Syed clearly did and something was definitely wrong. He was serious about this. I nodded to myself deliberating to myself.

"_Is there anything we can do__"__?_

"_We__"__?_

"_Of course 'we'. We're in this together. But I don't really know how you go about these kinds of things to be honest Sy__"__. _

Syed nodded at me. I crept my hand up his leg, entwining my fingers with his instead. He squeezed them wordlessly acknowledging my gesture.

I held onto his eyes for a further minute. I could see him struggling for the right words.

"_I'd need to find someone who can tell me exactly what the perpetrators mission is"_

"_And then"?_

"_There's normally a multitude of choices depending on the circumstances"._

"_What kind of choices"?_

"_They have the power to either put a shield up around me which can protect me, or they can put an invisible mirror up which would bounce everything back to them"._

I frowned as he laughed softly.

"_What's so funny"?_

"_It really does sound like something out of Harry Potter". _

"_I kind of wish it was". _It had meant to sound light hearted but came across stronger than I intended. I noticed the pinched expression on his face as he pulled his hand away from mine.

"_It's fine. I'll deal with it"_

"_Syed I didn't mean it like that. I'm jus- I don't know what to say or what I can do. I don't have the first clue"._

He didn't quite meet my eyes.

"_Sy, look at me"._

I watched as his light brown coloured eyes focused on mine.

"_We"._

He nodded at me.

"_Now who do we have to contact so we can stop this"?_

"_Well, there are people who specialise in these types of fields"._

"_Alright. That's a good start. Can't you ring them up? Or can we go down there? I got the car back from the garage this morning so I can drive down, its fine"_

"_It's not as easy as that"._

"_Why not"?_

"_Firstly they won't help me out."_

"_How do you know that? We have to try at least. And why won't they help you? I thoughts that's what they do"?_

"_Because I'm gay"_

I blinked stupidly at him.

"_You what"?_

He sighed deeply.

"_Christian I'm a gay Muslim. Someone wants to dispose of me because of that. Do you really think I'd be getting help from Conservative Muslims"?_

"_But you're.. its not .. "_ It was my turn to struggle with words. I couldn't explain to him verbally how I felt. There were people who could help him that were willing to let him suffer just because he fancied men? The stupidity and ignorance astounded me.

"_Its stupid. That's PC crap and bigotry in its highest form"_

"_Just because a few Muslim people might have accepted it Christian, it doesn't mean the rest of the world has. There's still people who are being stoned to death in countries like Somalia for being what we are. Just because we live in a more liberal country, it doesn't mean there aren't people out there who detest us. Every. Single. Day."_

It was times like this when the contrast of lives was stark clear between Syed and I. The bitterness in his voice stung me, but more so his words because they were true. And I couldn't do a single thing about it.

I stood up abruptly, pacing out my anger. Neither of us spoke.

We very rarely spoke about what it meant to be both gay and Muslim for Syed. He often clammed up at even the mention of religion. It was a sacred yet forbidden topic for us. We had some kind of unspoken agreement about it. Yet I could sense it in my gut that things were changing for us.

"_But they can help you Sy. Surely you can make them see?" _I continued in spite of myself. _"Can't I go down and talk to them? Make them understand that just because you're gay it doesn't make you any less of a Muslim". _

"_But it does"._

His voice cut me short. I could sense frustration building up inside me but I continued to battle it down as I bit my lip hard. I just couldn't take the conversation down that route with him. The unspoken agreement had risen between us again.

"_Listen, even if you wanted too.. you wouldn't be able too"._

"_Why's that?"_

"_Because he lives in Pakistan". _

Silence hung in the air for a split second as I changed tack.

"_Can't you phone him"?_

"_I don't have his number"._

"_Email him"?_

"_I doubt they have the internet in Khotli"._

"_Where"?_

"_It's the place where he lives. It's on a mountain"_

"_How are we supposed to get in contact with him then"? _I fought against the need to stamp my foot.

"_By phone"_

"_But I thought you didn't have his number"._

"_I don't"_

"_Syed seriously stop –"_

"_But I know someone who does"_

"_Whose that"?_

"_Mum". _


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** **Sorry for taking so unbelievably long with this chapter! I've been held up in Real Life! However, I've got the next few chapters already written and waiting in the shadows so the gap should NOT be so long next time! Sorry again!**

**Disclaimer:** **Still don't own Christian or Syed :( Just having some twisted fun with them! All rights to the respective owners (BBC)**

**This is a direct continuation from the previous chapter .. **

**Please review whether or not you like the chapter.. they bring a smile to my face and I love reading them! **

**Love CC xx**

**Christian's POV:**

"_You're joking"?_

"_I wish I was Christian"._

I ran my hands along the back of my neck. A clear sign when I was either stressed or worried. Of all the people in the world.. it had to be Syed's mother who could help us. We had no contact with Masood or Zainab at all but Syed did occasionally stay in touch with Tamwar who was studying for his final year in university. Tamwar…

"_Tamwar"._

"_What"?_

"_We can get Tamwar to help us, he could get the number out of your evil mother's phone and she'll never know either way". _I stare excitedly at him. It was a fool proof plan.

"_No"_

"_Why not? This way none of us have to go through the Wicked Witch of the East and everyone's happy"._

"_Christian, Tamwar is doing his final exams in less than 2 weeks. He needs to focus on revision and not me. It's fine"._

"_How is it fine Syed? You said so yourself that the only person who can help us get the number is Zainab."_

"_I know"_

"_You're not actually going to ask her for it are you"?_

"_I have no choice"._

"_You do realise that will actually involve speaking to her"_

"_Yeah I do"_

"_And talking to her"._

"_Yes"_

"_And she'll probably expect you to grovel at her feet again"_

"_Chri-"_

"_Not to mention the fact, she'll hold it over your head like some kind of demented executioner for the rest of your life"._

"_CHRISTIAN"._

I stopped. His eyes filled with tears and he turned his back away from me. I immediately felt guilty and mentally kicked myself for not knowing when to shut up. Walking towards the bed, I sat down on the pillow next to him, I touched him lightly on the shoulder.

"_Sy, I'm sorry. I just got carried away at the thought of having to get in contact with your mother again". _

"_Hmm hmm"._

"_Listen, do you want me to speak to her"?_

He turned around in the bed so fast, I'm surprised he didn't burn himself.

"_YOU want to speak to MY mother? You hate her, why on earth would you want to speak to her for?"_

"_I don't hate you" _

"_I'd hope not". _

We share a smile.

"_I mean, yeah I'm not gonna deny that I wouldn't stay in a room with your mother if it was the only place in the world, but you need her help and you're too ill to be dealing with her. I can talk to her". _

He didn't even contemplate the thought for a second.

"_No way"._

"_Why not?"_

"_Because you'd kill each other within moments of setting sights on each other"._

"_I can play nice… when I want to". _I added more as an afterthought.

"_Christian it's fine. I just want to get some sleep. We'll discuss it later". _

I nodded at him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"_Get some rest babe and I'll be home when you wake up"._

We smile at each other, lost in our little world for a few moments. Eventually he snuggles down on the bed, yawning. Leaning down onto my elbow, I stroke his hair softly, playing with it. I found his hand with my right hand and entwined our fingers together. Bringing them to my lips, I softly kiss his hand. I smile as I watched him fall asleep. I love him just as much as I did all those years ago, if not more.

"_I'm just going to have a shower". _I whisper into his ear softly placing a small kiss on his lips. I really need one.

Shutting the bathroom door behind me, I walked across the padded floor in the direction of the bedroom. I tightened my towel around me and smiled as I saw Syed with his back to me, by the kitchen sink.

I quietly crept up behind him, slipped my hands around his waist and kissed his neck.

"_You're awake fast"._ I murmured into his neck.

It took me a couple of seconds to realise that he was pulling out of my grip.

"_What's wrong"?_

He turned to me, his face like thunder.

"_Where were you"?_

"_I went to go and have a shower Sy"._

"_Why?"_

"_What do you mean 'why'"?"_

He glared at me and I realised that was not in fact a rhetorical question.

"_I needed one"._

"_Where are you going"?_

"_No where. I'm spending the rest of the afternoon here before I have to go to work"._

He laughed mirthlessly.

"_That explains it"._

"_Explains what"?_

"_It doesn't matter". _I could only watch in shock as he pushed past me and walked back to our bedroom. I couldn't understand why he'd flipped out at me.

**The following day:**

**Christian's POV:**

"_I'm not going to be long Sy. Just popping out to get some milk". _

"_Why didn't you get some when you were out earlier"?_

"_Because it totally slipped my mind and I wanted to get home to you"._

"_Typical Christian isn't it? I told you this morning that we needed more milk."_

"_Sy, you'd phoned me up asking me to come straight home so-"_

"_So its my fault now is it"?_

"_I'm not saying that. Do you know what. I'm going out to get the milk and hopefully you'll stop biting my head off when I get back". _

Picking my keys and wallet up, I left to go to the shops.

**The same evening:**

**Christian's POV:**

"_Sy have you thought any more about getting the number from your mum"?_

"_You just can't leave it alone can you"? _

"_I'm sorry?"_

"_I told you already that I'll deal with it"._

"_How many times? You're not well enough to do this alone"._

"_Maybe I don't need your help"._

"_And why's that then"?_

"_You and my mum are going to be snapping at each other's throats. I don't need that from either of you"._

"_I've already promised you that I wouldn't"._

"_Yeah well I don't want to take the risk"._

"_Gee that feels good to hear Sy"._

"_I-"_

"_What makes you think she'll play nice with you Sy"?_

"_Sorry"?_

"_Exactly what I said. You haven't spoken to her for 3 years. She's hardly going to welcome you back with open arms is she"?_

"_Yeah well that's my problem Christian"._

"_Why are you acting like this?"_

"_Acting like what"?_

"_This. I can't even breathe without you jumping down my throat at the first opportunity"._

"_That's not true"._

"_It is. Stop pushing me away Sy. Talk to me, please"._

I held onto his gaze for as long as I could before he looked away.

"_I'm going to sleep. See you in the morning". _

I looked away from him, biting my lip, as he walked out the lounge. I shook my head at him unable to believe his behaviour. I breathed in deeply, before picking up our plates and taking them to the kitchen.

**The next afternoon:**

**Christian's POV:**

"_Sy, Doctor Kyle wants you to make another appointment with him"._

"_Tell him that I don't need to see him. I'm fine"._

I bit my lip, debating whether or not to take it up with him. In less than 48 hours, the tension in the house was bubbling away. I couldn't say or do anything right. I'd left Syed to make the decision on whether or not he was going to get in contact with his mum, but short of calling her up myself, there really wasn't much for me to do. The 'caring' side of me won over.

"_Sy, you need to see him. You're wasting away to a pile of bones". _

It was true. His face was slowly sinking in. He had no energy to do anything, and wasn't eating anything either. It hurt me _so much_ to see the person I loved more than anything like this.

"_Christian I'm fine, stop fussing. I didn't know you were my mother"._

"_Speaking of your mother, are you going to get the number from her anytime soon or do you want me to drive down to Walford"?_

"_NO! Christian, I forbid you from driving down to Walford"._

I raise my eyebrow instead at him, smirking.

"_Are you grounding me Sy? I didn't know you were my mother"._

I smile at him as his eyes reach mine. His lips curve upwards as he attempts a smile. It's been so long since I've seen him smile that I whisper without realising.

"_Hallelujah.. he smiles"._

"_Ha ha. That's SO funny"._

I grin at him.

"_So, number? Otherwise I'll get Tamwar's help. So you have until tomorrow evening to get me the number or I'm getting it myself"._

He opens his mouth to speak but I shake my head at him.

"_24 hours and not a minute later". _

He nods meekly at me.

"_Now. I'm going to ring Doctor Kyle and see if he give you anything to help your weight come back up and I want you to eat some food. I'm bringing some soup and bread over and you're going to eat it- er don't even try that with my Sy, you asked me to make you that this morning when I said I'll cook you some proper food"._

"_It is proper food and-" _I move forward and catch the rest of the sentence on my lips. His lips are soft. It feels like an age has passed since I last kissed him. I smile against his lips as he tries to probe my mouth open. Instead I pull back from him, smirking.

"_You need to eat babe". _

I turn from his, despite his groans and walk in the direction of the kitchen.

"_Oh and please try and keep it down this time. My cooking's not that bad"_ I call over my shoulder as an afterthought. I notice the half formed smile on his face and blow him a kiss. My heart quickens as he pretends to catch it and brings it to his cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I've ended up combining two of the chapters, thanks to DanceDance :p However the following chapter is already written and will be up in about 2 days. Thank you to everyone whose read/reviewed my FF so far.. I really do appreciate it!

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Chryed or EastEnders. All rights to their respective owners (BBC).

Please leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts?

Thanks

CC xxxx

**Later that evening:**

**Christian's POV:**

Closing the laptop, I sighed deeply, unable to fully digest what I'd just found out. My mind was buzzing and my hands were sweating slightly at what we were dealing with.

I'd read personal accounts from people who had been cursed and had managed to come out the other side intact. Nearly all of them had commented on unbearable tension between the families involved. Some couples had divorced or split up unable to cope with it whereas others had come out stronger, choosing to stick together. I leaned back on the chair closing my eyes. I knew this wasn't my Syed who was acting like his. He was snappy and angry at me but it wasn't his fault. The possibility of us splitting up was out of the question. I would never leave him. I knew I couldn't tell him that I knew the reason he was acting like this, without it causing an argument, so instead I had to keep it quiet and just support him. Meanwhile, I'd carry on doing my own research and see if there was anything else I could do. He needed time.

Apparently there were 3 clear stages. The first stage was solely on the individual alone. They'd fall ill. Most people had said they'd thought it was either a cold or a virus of some sort. Nothing major. Just like Sy and I had thought. Over time, there health would deteriorate badly as 'it' took over.

The second stage would be them feeling a sense of unease and their "sixth sense" would realise that something was definitely up. I could feel the sceptical side of me coming out but I knew this was something very much that Syed believed in. The impact on him was clear to see. Sometimes whatever it was that was causing all this would "reveal" itself to the person involved and other times it wouldn't. I was pretty sure that Syed was in the first category. Looking back the signs are clear. His jumpiness, the way he'd stare at 'nothing' in a certain part of the room or when he'd wake up crying in the middle of the night.

The final stage would vary according to what the people behind it wanted. In this case, I had a feeling it was to split Syed and I up. Hell would freeze over and I'd have a snowball fight with Zainab on there before that happened. I'd have to try and get Sy onside first, make him realise that I wasn't the enemy like he now thought I was. We needed to be on the same side if we were going to beat this. But I knew my first action would anger him. I'd have to get the number myself. I'd risk Sy's anger if it meant that he'd come out the other side.

**The following evening:**

**Christian's POV:**

I hit the green button on my phone before I could change my mind. 'Come on, pick up', I muttered to myself, listening anxiously to check Syed was still asleep.

"_Hello? Tamwar?"_

"_Hi. Christian."_

"_Sorry, I wasn't disturbing you or anything was I"?_

"_Yeah you know me, my social calendar is brimming with offers of wild crazy foam parties. It's totally my scene"._

I smiled. Same old Tamwar. Now that I'd rung him, I wasn't sure if this was my best decision.

"_I take this isn't purely a social call at this hour? I'd expect you to be playing tonsil tennis with my brother". _

I grinned down the phone, I could almost hear him blushing as the silence began to draw out between us.

"_Oh wait. That came out wrong. It's the revision, it's making me feverish. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant, you know…"_

"_Don't worry I do know. And just for future record, at this hour, we would have left the tonsil tennis stage ages ago and would have moved –"_

"_Ew. No. Please. I won't be able to sleep tonight if you keep plaguing my mind with these slightly disturbing if distorted images"._

"_Tamwar, I need some advice"._

I bit my lip as silence greeted me down the phone.

"_Um Christian"?_

"_Yeah"?_

"_I hope this isn't advice on you know.. intimacy and stuff because I'm not exactly your best bet. Not to mention the fact that I don't exactly want to think of my brother having sex with you – no offence – well not really – and err I'm not homosexual or anything so I can hardly give you positions and stuff – oh wait that came out wrong too – Especially the – "_

"_Not that kind of advice" _I laughed down the phone to him. No doubt he'd be resembling a beetroot around now.

"_Oh no it isn't about –"_

"_Tamwar"_

"_Yeah"?_

"_Maybe if I got a word in edgeways I'd be able to explain to you"._

"_Oh. Yeah. That might help. A bit. I guess."_

"_Firstly don't worry about mine and Syed's sex life. It's great, thanks for asking. Don't worry about the positions either, we've probably invented a few ourselves"._

"_Oh no!"_

"_What"?_

"_I'll need to bleach my ears, and my brain, after hearing that my brother and his boyfriend can give Kama Sutra a run for her money. And I'll never be able to look either one of you in the eye after this conversation". _

"_Don't worry – you'll forget I said that after this conversation. Now how's your revision going"?_

"_Um? Christian? Did you ring me up at twenty two hundred hours to check on your boyfriend's younger brother's exams?"_

"_Yes I did. So how's it going?"_

"_Oh-kay then. In that case, it's going splendid."_

"_I'm really glad to hear it. When's your last exam?"_

"_It's not until Friday. But you know me, I'm revising to make sure I pass. Well that's an understatement, I don't think my mum would let me through the door if I came out with anything less than a First Class Honours Degree. Anyways, how can I help you?_"

"_Hold on, Syed said it was in 2 weeks time"_

"_It's called exaggerating"_

I could feel Tamwar rolling his eyes down the phone. I shook my head to myself, feeling a bit stupid for taking Syed so literally.

"_I need to see you Tamwar. "_

"_What's happened? Is it my brother"?_

"_Something like that, but please don't get worried. I need advice and no not sex advice before you say anything"._

"_Ok. When do you want to meet up then"?_

"_Not till after your last exam. Come down and stay with me and Sy for a few days. De stress and all that"_

"_Hmm I'm not sure. I think mum had a party planned for me"_

"_Please Tam. Can't you say you're going out with your friends for a few days or something"?_

"_You do know that I'm potentially risking my life if I dare to defy my mother"_

"_I know but I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important"._

"_And is it important"?_

"_Yes and no"_

"_Should I be worried"?_

"_No" _ I crossed my fingers behind my back, feeling guilty but it was for the greater good.

"_Are you going to tell me what its about or not"?_

"_Not now. Just please, I'll even drive up to Newcastle and collect you myself"._

"_Wow you must really want me to come"_

"_I do. So is that a yes"?_

I waited with baited breath as he deliberated. Eventually he sighed quietly.

"_The things I do for my brother. I'll talk to dad and make an excuse, if anyone can bend my mum's ear its him"_

"_Thank you so much Tam. I owe you one"_

"_You do, don't think I'm going to forget this"_

"_I don't expect you to. Can I collect you Friday evening"?_

"_Wow, that's fast. I might have plans on Friday evening"._

"_Really"? _

"_Nope. My friends are all going to get pissed. The last time I half carried them home I ended up with vomit in my shoes. Collect me around 5ish. I might go wild and celebrate with some Orange Juice"._

I laughed down the phone again.

"_Thanks again. I better go before Sy wakes up"._

"_Does that mean this conversation never happened"?_

"_Yeah, something like that. It'll all make sense on Friday"._

"_Fine. I better get back to revision. I swear university life was meant to be more fun. Then again 'fun' was never my forte. See you on Friday"_

"_Bye. Thanks Tam". _

There was an awkward pause before Tamwar hung the phone up. I sighed. Now that part was over, I had to go and break it to Syed that his brother was coming to stay with us for a few days.

**The next morning:**

**Christian's POV:**

I stretched my limbs, blinking against the first rays of sunlight pouring through the window. The bed space next to me was empty.

"_Syed"_ I called out sleepily.

Silence responded.

Pulling the covers back, I swung my legs out of the bed, calling out louder. I walked towards the kitchen trying to see if Syed was there.

"_Syed, where are you"?_

I gazed around the kitchen. It was also empty. Turning around, I walked across to the prayer room, even though prayer time was door, the door was ajar but it was also empty. Opening the bathroom door, I tried to ignore the small bubble of panic that was in my stomach. I scanned the bathroom, once again it was also empty.

"_Sy? Are you here"?_

I stopped by the spare room noticing the door wasn't fully closed like normal. I opened the door slowly, looking around to see Syed staring out of the window. He was wearing his checkered dressing gown which was tightly wrapped around him.

"_Sy, why didn't you answer me? You scared the hell out of me"._

I stopped behind him, pulling him into a hug but he didn't respond. I released my arms from him and stepped back, waiting for some kind of cue from him. I looked towards the window but there was nothing out of the ordinary outside.

"_Sy"?_

Eventually he blinked and spoke in a quiet voice.

"_Sorry. I just wanted to think"._

"_Okay"._ I didn't press him for anything else. I could sense he was withdrawn from me. He stepped closer to the window.

"_I never noticed it before"._

"_Noticed what"?_

"_That it's so much more peaceful outside at this hour of the morning. It's like the whole world is still"._

Frowning, my eyes scanned the small field behind our home. The kids from our street normally spent the day playing there, having water fights or maybe a game of cricket. In winter, they bought their sledges out, made snowmen and had snowball fights. It was always alive.

"_Maybe the kids are asleep at 6.47am Sy"?_

"_That's not what I mean"_

"_Then what do you mean"?_

He sighed quietly to himself.

"_Don't worry Christian"_

Turning away from the window, he walked to the door.

"_Do you want some breakfast"?_

"_It's fine. I'll make us some"._

"_I'm not an invalid Christian. I'll rustle something up"._

I watched Syed as he walked out the door. Taking a deep breath, I slowly followed him out, I knew this was going to be a long day.

Putting my mug of coffee down, I finally spoke. Breakfast had been a quiet affair. I'd told Syed that I was going to spend the day at his agency to make sure everything was okay and all the paperwork was up to date before heading down to the club for the evening. He's quietly responded, choosing to play with his breakfast rather than eat it.

"_Sy"?_

"_Yeah"?_

"_There's something you need to know"._

His ears pricked up.

"_What did you do this time"?_

"_It's nothing like that. Listen, I've invited Tamwar down on Friday to come and stay for us a few days."_

I steeled myself against his reponse.

"_Christiaaaaan. Why on earth would you do that? Did you tell him? I asked you not to get in contact, so why, especially when he has exams. I just don't understand you sometimes". _He banged his spoon onto the table angrily.

"_I did it because you wouldn't listen to me. No I never told him anything and his last exam is on Friday so it doesn't affect his results in anyway. And before you say anything else, he's sorting it out so he can come and stay with us for a while. I've told him I'll drive down and collect him too. Anything else"?_

I stared into Syed's beautiful brown eyes. They flashed dangerously at me and I saw a muscle in his jaw twitching. He was angry at me.

"_I'm going back to sleep". _

"_Sy. You need help. Tamwar is the only person bar your parents. Come on, even you can understand why I did it? Talk to me. Stop walking off on me, please"_

"_Don't forget to take your keys"._

Scraping back his chair, he walked out the dining room. His body was tired and his shoulders were hunched as if he had the weight of the world on them. I heard him move around as, I presumed, he was getting back into our bed. Great, I was going to be getting the cold shoulder for the remainder of the week. I stood up, picking our breakfast items.

**Later than evening:**

"_Christian, I need to tell you something, but you can't get angry okay"?_

"_Sounds ominous but I'll try not to"._

Putting the hoover back into the cellar, I closed the door, leaning against it, waiting to see what Syed was going to say.

"_Are you finally going to tell me what's on your mind or am I going to have to guess"?_

Syed had been terse with me all evening, continually opening his mouth to speak before changing his mind. I'd got on with the housework, leaving him to make his mind up. One thing was clear, he had an issue on his mind.

"_Promise you won't get angry"?_

I walked over to him, taking his hands in mine.

"_I promise I'll try not to get angry if I can help it"._

"_You've just given yourself about 20 loopholes in that"._

"_Should I be worried"?_

His eyes shifted away from mine, and he shuffled closer to me on the bed. His voice was croaky, and his eyes had bags underneath.

"_Um, well it depends what way you look at it"._

"_What's that supposed to mean? I wasn't worried before, but I certainly am now. Spill"._

His bit his bottom lip and I could see a reproaching look settling in his eyes.

"_Have you found someone else? Are you planning on moving countries? Do you want to go parasailing? What is it"?_

"_I think you should move out, temporarily"._

I blinked, startled. What?

"_That is a joke, isn't it Sy"?_

"_I've been thinking about it all day. And I don't want you to get hurt"._

"_Hurt? You think by chucking me out of my own home, I'm not gonna get hurt? I mean.. why? Are you.. breaking up with me"? _

Our eyes met and I instantly saw the truth in them.

"_No! Never! How on earth can you think that"?_

"_Then why do you want me to leave"?_

"_Christian, you know what's wrong with me don't you"?_

"_Yes.. well I mean no" _I admitted.

It was Syed's turn to look confused.

"_I accept what's happening but I can't understand it, if that makes any kind of sense"?_

"_Yeah. I guess. Everything that starts has to finish right? I mean humans live, humans die. Same with flora, fauna.. everything"._

"_Is there a point in this lesson and how exactly does it relate to our living situation"?_

"_What I'm trying to say is that this thing that's happened to me, it's got to end one day right"?_

I snatched my hand away from him. I wasn't ready to discuss death with him. I stood up abruptly.

"_Don't.. don't talk about you dying. Please. This.. we're gonna get through it and we're going to make it. Together"._

"_That's what I'm trying to say though. If I beat this.."_

"_When" _I corrected him.

"… _I don't want you to be around to witness it. I don't want you to get hurt"._

"_How would I get hurt?"_

"_It'd take on the form of my body, so you'd think it was me but it really wasn't"._

"_That's ridiculous"._

"_I wish it was". _

I moved over to the bed and sat by him again.

"_And the moving out.."?_

"_If it took over me and hurt you in anyway, I'd never forgive myself"._

"_I know you'd never hurt me Syed. No matter what's happened to you. You'd never lay a finger on me". _

I knew that much from deep inside me. I know Syed wouldn't.. couldn't do that to me.

"_Listen Sy.."_

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to me.

"_I just don't want anything to happen to you". _

I looked down into his dark wavy hair. Placing my face into his hair, I breathed in his scent.

"_I'm not going anywhere okay"?_

"_If you moved out until I beat it, then I wouldn't have to worry about your safety"._

"_Don't worry about me okay? I'm staying here and if you seriously think I'm leaving you alone in this state, then you have another thing coming._

I hugged him closer to me, ignoring the stinging in my eyes.

"_Why did this have to happen Christian? I mean, who can possibly hate me that much"?_

"_I really wish I knew, but for now, we need to focus on your health and getting you better"._

"_I .. don't mean to snap at you Christian"._

"_I know you don't. I mean apart from living with Jekyll and Hyde, it's fine"._

I felt him smile into my chest.

Just for now, I was content having my Syed back. All the arguments, bickering and fighting weren't his doing. Even though I knew that, I was glad that he'd returned a little to his old self.

"_I guess I didn't think things through properly. Sorry". _

"_Hey, don't apologise. I mean if you really wanted too tempt me out the house, you should have had Roxy come around with a couple of bottles of tequila and we could have flown to Amsterdam for the week or something"._

"_That's not a bad idea actually"._

I chuckled quietly.

"_Shush you. I'm not going anywhere". _

Stroking his hair, I slowly watched him fall asleep.

**Saturday morning:**

**Christian's POV:**

Syed and I had picked Tamwar up the previous evening. He'd picked up on the tense situation between Syed and I and had made a comment on whether we were breaking up. I nearly lost control of the car, from the pure shock. Syed and I had profusely shot down the comment, almost blasting Tamwar's ears in the process. I smiled to myself as I remembered Syed snaking his hand across and taking my hand in his. We'd shared a smile and I knew that for those minutes alone, I had my Syed back. He didn't let get off my hand until we pulled up to our house.

Tamwar had also made a comment on Syed's physical appearance which proved to me that I wasn't the only person to notice it. Syed and I had ignored Tamwar everytime he asked what was going on because we wanted to tell him properly. We sent him to sleep in the spare room and told him that we'd explain everything, this morning. I'd held Syed close to me during the night, as he shook and cried in his dreams. He didn't mention a word of it to me this morning but he slept through the whole thing.. so he probably doesn't that I witnessed the whole thing.

I yawned as I walked into the living room. I'd been run off my feet between looking after Syed, working at the club, keeping the house clean and trying to check in with Syed's letting agency. The stress was starting to show on me too. I heard the door open behind me and I turned to see the brothers walking in.

"_Sleep alright Tam"?_

"_Yeah it wasn't too bad. The mattress wasn't as lumpy as last time which is good because I actually managed to get some sleep this time"._

I smiled at him, remembering the last time he stayed. The next morning, he'd spent nearly 15 minutes lecturing Syed and I on the potential risk we were posing on the curvature of his spine by providing an unsuitable mattress.

"_Glad it sufficed. Syed and I slept just fine on our bed too"._

I grinned at them both, laughing as Tamwar blushed staring at the carpet.

"_I thought we agreed not to mention that conversation again. Now I really can't look either one of you in the eye". _

"_Christian. Please" _Syed raised his eyebrows at me, hiding a smile.

"_Don't worry I won't embarrass your little brother anymore."_

"_I'm 20 Christian. I'm not exactly 'little'"_

"_True, but you're not exactly 'big' either and its fun winding you up so do you want to sit down so we can tell you what's going on or should I fill you in on our favourite positions"?"_

"_Err"._

I frowned as Tamwar and Syed shared a look.

"_Errm, Syed.. um.."_

Tamwar sat on the sofa but I continued staring at Syed, waiting for him to explain. No one spoke and eventually realisation dawned on me.

"_You already know"?_

Tamwar looked to Syed who eventually spoke.

"_Christian, I.." _

I stepped back from him, shaking my head. Hurt ran through me. We'd agreed to tell him together.

"_You said we were going to tell him together"._

"_Christian, it's something I had to do alone"._

Without looking at either one of them, I sat on the sofa staring at the fireplace instead. I felt Syed next to me. He tried to take my hand but I pulled it away. I couldn't explain it but the betrayal I felt was prominent. Syed had told me that we'd tell him together, I _wanted_ to be there and he'd gone and told Tamwar behind my back.

"_Christian look at me please"._

"_Leave me alone"._

"_Not until you look at me"._

"_Just, leave me alone". _

I stood up, walking to the bedroom. I pulled my gym bag out of from the wardrobe. Stripping down, I pulled on a pair of shorts and a vest. I zipped up my bag after adding a clean towel. I walked back through the living room. I picked my car keys up from the table refusing to look at either one of them. Pulling my trainers off the shoe rack, I pushed my feet into them.

"_Christian. Please. Don't run off". _

"_Where are you going"?_

It was obvious.

Without a backwards glance, I walked to the front door slamming it shut behind me.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I still don't own Chryed :( **

**Thank you to everyone whose still reading (and reviewing :p) … **

**Updating a day early because I updated the last chapter a day late! Christian had stormed out the house and it's a direct continuation..**

**Enjoy and leave me a review some time ;) **

**Love CC xx**

**Syed's POV:**

I stared after the door as he walked out. I knew he wouldn't be back for a good couple of hours until he'd worked his energy off in the gym. I slumped back on the sofa, forgetting Tamwar was there until he spoke.

"_Well, that went well". _

I shook my head at him.

"_You're telling me"._

"_Does he do this often"?_

"_What? Sulk like a 5 year old or go to the gym when he's angry"?_

"_Both?"_

"_Very often in that case. Leave him, he'll be back when he's good and ready"._

"_Why did he walk off though? It's not Christian"._

"_I don't know Tam. You'll have to ask him that. You'd think I'd told you the lottery numbers the way he's acting"._

"_I guess I can understand him"._

"_What do you mean"? _

"_Well from what he said, you were supposed to tell me together"?_

"_That was the original plan"_

"_And then you told me alone, without even informing him first. I guess it makes sense that he's probably feeling a bit hurt". _

I felt a twinge of guilt. I was going to tell Christian but I wanted Tamwar to know and I wanted to tell him alone.

"_I should be able to talk to you without Christian throwing a hissy fit you know Tambo. You're my brother"._

"_I'm just saying". _He put his hands up as if to shield my words.

"_It's so hard Tamwar". _I pulled a cushion to my face suddenly feeling drained. I removed it slowly to find Tamwar staring straight at me.

"_What is? Being with Christian"?_

"_No. I mean I don't know anymore. All of this Tamwar. Someone's doing blackmagic on me. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. When.. When I left home to be with Christian, out of everything that I thought we'd have to deal with.. This was never one of them. I can't even sleep some nights because I'm so scared. And Christian, he's always been there for me. I love him Tamwar. I love him __**so**__ much but I'm so scared that he's going to walk out and leave me one day whenever it gets too much. It's been 3 years since I finally chose him and I'm finally happy. But recently, all of this.. it's left me thinking"._

"_Thinking about what"?_

With a heavy heart, I admitted the thought that had been weighing me down.

"_Mine and Christian's future. I'm not so sure anymore"._

**Christian's POV:**

Punch, punch, punch! I continued punching the punch bag as hard as I could, venting out all the anger, frustration and stress from the last few weeks. Eventually I grabbed the bag, trying to slow down my heart rate. It'd worked. Looking around the gym, I caught the eye of a tanned, bleached guy. He was watching me from the water fountain, giving me appraising looks. I turned away from him, uninterested. Wiping my face with my towel, I started walking over towards the lockers. I felt guilty about leaving Syed like that now, especially in his current state. But this feeling inside me, the betrayal I felt, I couldn't place where it'd come from. Maybe it was because as a couple, Syed and I didn't have secrets anymore or maybe it was the fact that Syed hadn't even told me first.

"_Penny for them"?_

I looked around startled. I found myself staring into cornflower blue eyes. It was the bleached Ken Barbie look a like.

"_I'm sorry"?_

"_Penny for your thoughts"?_

"_Sorry love I'm not interested". _Might as well put him straight before he gets any funny ideas. I gazed defiantly into his eyes until he eventually shrugged his shoulders.

"_Ah well you can't blame me for trying"._

"_I've got a boyfriend at home actually". _

I turned away from him, walking over to the locker room instead. I needed a cold shower badly. Wiping the back of my neck with a towel, I stopped again, turning to face this now irritating man.

"_What did you just say"?_

"_I said he's crazy. If I had a guy like you, I'd never let you out of my sight, forget letting you come to the gym alone"._

I couldn't help but smile to myself. The 'old' me would have jumped straight into the shower _with_ him but the 'new' me found the comment tacky. I laughed to myself at how much I'd changed. My thoughts turned once again to Syed as I walked away. Guilt rose in me again as I thought of how I'd treated him. Tamwar's his brother, I tried to reason to myself. He doesn't need my permission to tell his brother something. As long as I'm there for him, helping him and caring for him then that's all that matters. What does it matter if Syed told him? As long as we're in this together, then.. well that's all that matters.

**Christian's POV:**

I closed the door quietly behind me. I could hear Tamwar and Syed talking quietly in the living room. Slipping my shoes off, I left my gym bag on the floor. I crept quietly over to the door.

"… _the number?"_ I recognised Syed's muffled voice immediately.

"_Oh errm if I told you I might have to kill you"_

I heard Syed laughing and instantly found myself smiling.

"_Oh come on tell me Tam"._

"_No you don't understand. I might actually have to kill you and knowing me it'd probably be painful because I'd injure you in the wrong place or something"._

Their relationship had gone from strength to strength. As Syed had become more comfortable with his sexuality and being with me, Tamwar had slowly but surely become more accepting. However, Syed knew just how much it hurt Syed that he was estranged from his parents and Kamil. Some days when families were mentioned, Christian saw a hurt so deep in Syed's eye he often wondered if he saw it. By then, Syed had often blinked and he wouldn't see it again.

I slowly turned the handle and pushed the door open. I found Syed's delicate frame in an instant. He was laying across the sofa with a blanket around him and a cushion under his head. I stopped and stared at him. Despite the laughter lines on his face, he looked ill. I felt a pang of sadness that I couldn't be his Superman and fix him. I watched as Syed swung his legs around and stood up. I walked towards him in big strides, halting to a stop in front of him.

"_I better get going if I'm going to meet Zara. _I was barely aware of Tamwar's exit, dimly hearing the front door click shut.

"_I'm so sorry for walking out on you like that. I was hurt but I didn't mean to take it out on you. I - "._

I paused as I stared into his beautiful coloured orbs. I hated myself for causing Syed any kind of anguish at all.

"_I'm really sorry, I don't know what came over me at all".. _

Words just weren't enough.

"_Wha- what is it Sy"? _

My heart sped up. The way Syed was looking at me, it was different. I suddenly felt self conscious under the scrutiny of his gaze. His head was tilted to the side, his locks falling in the same direction. His eyes were scanning my face, his expression sad. I desperately tried to meet his gaze but his eyes refused to meet mine. I hated this. I hated it when I didn't have eye contact with Syed. I couldn't read him at all. I froze for a second as I noticed Syed's hand. It was slowly coming towards my face. Without realising it, I'd closed my eyes waiting for him to touch me. A few more seconds passed with nothing… A sigh of relief left me as he stroked the side of my face, cupping it in his soft palms. My eyes flew open to meet his. Neither of us spoke.

"_I'm sorry Syed. Please…. "_

Without another word, and not moving his hand, he closed the gap between us and gently kissed my lips. Relief flooded through me as I slowly responded. I closed my eyes as I tasted him on my lips. Sexual contact between us had been .. limited, since all of this started. There was lack of sex when Syed had the virus but since it left, I was careful with him. His warm tongue entered my mouth, and I shook slightly as our tongues danced together. Syed moved his hands down the front of my top, running his hands underneath my vest. I shivered from his touch, holding onto his small waist. His tongue pushed against mine and I frowned trying to slow him down. I felt his body push against mine as Syed forcefully turned us around and started pushing us in the direction of the sofa. Pulling my head back from Syed, I tried to stop him. His eyes were mentally undressing me and without a word, Syed changed tack. I felt my legs tumble as he pushed me backwards on the sofa. Less than a moment later, I felt his body climb on top of mine.

"_Sy? What's gotten into you"? _I tried in vain to rationalise with my brain but the sight of Syed taking control was mind blowingly beautiful. I tried to ignore the bulge now growing in my trousers.

"D_o you want me to lose control, because it's working"? _My words ended in a quiet moan as I felt his wet lips running the length of my collar bone. My resolve was weakening against him. He pulled me forward, lifting my vest off my body. As he ran his hands down my body, while placing kisses along my neck before retuning on my lips, I finally succumbed to him.

**Christian's POV:**

I slowly detangled my body from his at a snail's pace. Minutes later, I felt the warm water running down my back. I sighed deeply as I slowly began washing my body. There was a small nagging thought at the back of my brain, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, I couldn't. Climbing out the shower, I wrapped a towel around me, walking along the padded carpet towards our bedroom. Syed. There was something different about the way he'd made love to me. I knew him so well, and its fair to say that after 3 years together, I was well aware of how he sexually 'acted'. But the way he'd run his hands along my torso, kissed me, gazed at me. There wasn't as much teasing, or playing. It was like he was _searching _my body. I paused as I went to pull my jeans on. 'S_earched'_ sounded so unlike Syed but it was the only word that I could think of that actually applied to it. He hadn't said a word to me since I walked in through the door either, which is a pretty amazing thing considering normally I can't ever seem to get him to shut up! Once he'd reached his climax, we'd collapsed into a heap on the sofa and he'd fallen asleep holding my arms.

I twisted my hands together, this was so frustrating. I wanted to speak to him, apologise for my child like behaviour from earlier. I felt him accept my apology through his body but I wanted to hear it. I wanted him to reassure me that he wasn't still angry at me. I want to tell him that everything's going to be okay and we'll fight this … this _thing_ together. I wanted to hold him close to me and protect him from everything that was bad and evil. But sometimes, I wondered if he needed protecting from me. Syed's devotion and dedication to Islam was steadfast and I knew he loved me beyond reason but the 2 things just didn't mesh, and if anything this had taught me that. I love Syed more than I love life itself, as cheesy as that sounds. I just can't picture a life without him and I know that if he was ever to leave me or if anything happened then I just wouldn't be able to go on. I knew that from the very core of my being. But I also know, rather guiltily, that maybe sometimes I over smother Syed. I make sure that I tell him that I love him at least twice a day and I mean it. I don't care that he's only ever told me 4 times in the almost 5 years I've known him. Sure, I'd love to hear it occasionally but he tells me in other ways. Syed doesn't only communicate verbally with me and that's the amazing thing about him. Sometimes when we unashamedly just stare at each other, and I see his eyes sparkling back at me, his face joyous and his expression truthful.. I know he loves me. It means just as much as the verbal "I love you"s mean to me. But thinking back, have I made it easy for him? I give him his space whenever he needs it, I try to stay away from him during Ramadaan and I try and make every Eid as special as possible for him.. but is that enough for him? Am I too overbearing? I know that I do things without thinking, but everything I do is what I honestly believe at the time, to be in our best interests. Do I speak about family too much? I frowned trying to remember the last time I mentioned them. I sighed, standing up. I needed to talk to him. I had to. I took a step in the direction of the door to see if Syed was awake, when the door opened revealing him. I blinked before realising it wasn't just a (very pretty) figment of my imagination.

"_Hey" _I smiled at him and he nodded his head back at me, surprised to see me there. I watched him as he walked over to the wardrobe, the blue towel swinging from his hips.

I waited for him to speak, desperate to hear him just to say something. Instead, I got silence. He rooted around the wardrobe looking for clean clothes to wear. Eventually he pulled out a plain black shirt and his old favourite black bottoms. I frowned at him as he changed, keeping his back to me. All black? That was totally unlike him. He normally chose bright colours and he hardly had any black in his wardrobe.

"_Feeling a bit black today are we"?_

I laughed quietly at my own joke, before realising he hadn't reacted at all.

"_Sy? I'm sorry about earlier, I really am, but we need to talk"._

He turned slowly, taking his absolute time to meet my eyes. His expression was guarded, his eyes weren't smiling. I felt sparse amount of goosebumps on my naked arms. This wasn't my Syed at all. For the first time since I found out, I actually felt scared. I wasn't looking into the eyes of the man I loved. I was looking at someone else.

"_I think everything's been covered"._

I stared stupidly at him. How? Wha – we hadn't said a word about it. Well _Syed_ hadn't said a word about it. I felt the hairs on my arm stand up as he suddenly started smiling. It wasn't the usual carefree smile that lit his face up. It was a cold smile, almost manic like. I exhaled slowly, taking a deep breath. I had to get out of here. I turned around, walking towards the door. For the first time, in all the time I've known Syed Masood, I was wary of having my back towards him. My pace quickened and as I grasped the handle and turned it, he spoke.

"_Leaving already Christian"?_

Slowly, I turned on the spot, heart beating from fear of the possessed man in front of me.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**** Only posted because j3mm4nn and OnlyTonight3 were badgering me for it :p Thank you everyone for your feedback and support! It means a lot.. Enjoy? xx**

**Tamwar's POV:**

I shuffled through the door, eyes tightly bound shut. I did _not_ want to see Christian and Syed doing _stuff_. I strained my ears. The house was quiet. Good. That was certainly something. I was about to call out when something stopped me. What if they were asleep? Deciding it was safe to open my eyes, I slowly unscrewed them. I quietly placed the bunched keys onto the key hook. Entering the living room, I noticed a few misplaced cushions and.. the distinct smell of sex in the air. Ew. I scrunched my nose up. Great, they'd been at it again. I guess that's the good thing about having an argument with the person you love, you can make up afterwards. But the thought of Christian and Syed was still a bit disturbing sometimes. I still had problems believing my charming brother was gay sometimes. And had shacked up with his work colleague. I guess they were in their bedroom. Might as well see if something is on the telly while waiting for them to make a reappearance.

**Christian's POV:**

"_Sy. Listen to me. This isn't you. This isn't the real you. I need you to remember me, remember us"._

A cold laugh echoed through the room.

**Tamwar's POV:**

I hit mute instantly. Whose laugh was that? That certainly wasn't Syed's and I would have recognised Christian's laugh too. I hope they weren't being burgled. But the laugh? Plus it's the middle of the day. Holy mother of Pythagoras, my brother and his gay lover were going to get murdered in their beds, in broad daylight by laughing maniacs. Jumping up, I grabbed the nearest thing to my hand which was.. a cushion. I dropped it again, and looked around the room. The vase looked to heavy to carry. Ah, a cricket bat. I picked it up and ran awkwardly to the slightly ajar door, rubbing my shin. Stupid sofa had to get in the way of my leg. I slowed down by the door. Where was my phone? I pulled it out.

"_You stupid, stupid man. What on earth gave you that impression"?_

"_Please, Syed you LOVE me. And I love you"_

I came to a halt less than a foot from the door. That was Syed's voice and Christian's. Oh please don't tell me that I was intruding on some kind of kinky foreplay between them where Christian was going to get spanked by my brother?

"_You need to fight it. It's not the real you that's talking to me. It's that thing, it's possessed you"._

I felt a chill run down my spine. Oh. Shit. I backed away from the door, dropping the bat. I froze at the small thud sound but neither of them appeared to have heard. This was it. It was actually happening. With shaky fingers I scrolled through my phonebook, half walking half running back to the front door. I stopped by the door, willing for the person on the other side to pick the phone up already.

"_Assalamalykum"_

"_Walaykumasalaam. It's Tamwar Masood"._

"_Oh Tamwar. Mashallah, it's good to hear from you. How are you doing son"?_

"_I'm – well thank you. How are you"?_

"_I'm also very well Alhumdulillah. How can I help you"?_

"_It's Syed. Someone's done jadoo on him as you know and its all coming out. Literally. I mean, it's taken over my brother's soul". _

**Syed's POV:**

I started, stumbling onto the bed.

"_Syed"?_

I looked up confused.

"_Christian"?_

Why was he standing there, pale as a ghost? His body was rigid, and he was looking at me as if I was about to murder him.

"_Why are you so scared"?_

"_Is, is it you .."?_

I laughed at the stupidity of his words.

"_Of course it is. Who else were you expecting"?_

I watched as he put one foot out gingerly to me, arms outstretched. I sat up on my knees on the bed, looking around the room.

"_How did I get here?"_

"_What do you mean"?_

"_I – last thing I remembered was falling asleep after.."_

I paused, feeling a brush creeping up my face as the vivid memories flooded my brain.

"_.. you got your wicked way with me"?_"

I smiled at Christian's ending of that sentence.

"_Yeah something like that.."_

Christian had a monotone to his voice. I looked around, once again unable to remember everything. Christian's face registered in my brain, he was scared.

"_Did … something happen"?_

My breathing shallowed slightly. I felt my heart miss a beat. Closing my eyes, I waited for an answer. The truth? A lie. Just anything.

"_Christian?"_

I opened my eyes looking at him again, pleading with him for anything.

"_Please. Tell me what happened"._

"_I.." _

He stopped, closing his mouth again. I watched as he swallowed hard, trying to find something to say.

"_It.. that.. what you told me.. about that thing.."_

"_Yeah".. _I took a few more breaths while trying to steady myself.

"_Did it happen"?_

The nod was slow but sure.

I felt anger, instantly.

"_See, I told you to move out Christian but you just didn't listen did you? You have to leave, NOW"._

"_What? Are you actually insane"?_

"_No, I mean it Christian. I want you to leave before it hurts you"._

"_It's not going to me Syed. I won't leave you alone with this… spirit or whatever you call it. I'm staying". _

I stared hard at him. His stance was solid on the ground, he'd brought himself to his full height. His hands were balled into fists and we watched each other from opposite sides of the room. I loved him but sometimes, he was really stupid. Didn't he know why I was telling him? I thought hard, never taking my eyes off him. I needed Tamwar. Tamwar would know what to do.

"_Where's Tamwar"?_

"_He went out before our little rendezvous"._

"_When is he coming back"?_

"_He didn't say". _

I groaned frustrated. I ran my fingers through my hair. I didn't know how long I had before.. if.. it returned. I felt my hands shaking. It'd shown itself to Christian, so was it going to hurt him? If it was, it would have already done that. But if it was going to kill me, then that would have already happened too. My thoughts jumbled up as I tried to work through them again. Christian had to leave. That much was sure, I couldn't take the risk of him getting hurt. But he wouldn't listen. I scanned the room, a thought occurring to me. My hands trembled, but I had to do it. Jumping off the bed, I quickly moved towards Christian, kissing him hard on the lips. His eyes were a sea of worry and conflict as he responded briefly.

"_Can you help me?"_

"_Anything. Name it"._

"_Go outside and ring Tamwar"._

"_And say what"?_

"_Just tell him what happened and he'll know what to do. You're my everything Christian"._

Without waiting for a response, I pushed Christian towards the door. Before he could say or do anything, I pushed him out and locked the door behind him. Walking over to the bed, I pulled my legs into me and started praying, trying to ignore my tears while blocking out the frantic banging on the door.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**** I was blackmailed with Syed puppy dog eyes for this chapter! Blame j3mm4nn and OnlyTonight 3 Please don't lynch me after this chapter! **

**Warning: This chapter, could possibly make me people upset so a quick warning! **

**Please give me feedback? I'm so unsure about this chapter and I want it to come across properly! Thank you! **

**Love CC xx**

**Christian's POV:**

"_SYED. OPEN THE DOOR. SYED"!_

I banged against the door as hard as I could, repeatedly. I can't believe he locked me out of the room. The spare key. Of course. I rummaged through my pockets trying to find the spare key. How could I have been so stupid? 'You're my everything Christian'.. the words floated around my head. I wasn't going to lose him. Not like this and not without a fight.

"_Christian! What's happened?" _

I spun around to find Tamwar running across the living room, clutching his mobile tightly to his ear.

"_It's Syed. He's locked me out. That thing, that motherfucking thing inside him, it came out, it talked to me, in Syed's body. Then it changed again and left him but now I don't know what's happened and you need to call the guy. Syed said you'd know. Oh Christ, by the time he's gonna get here, it's gonna be too late. Phone him. PHONE HIM!"_

"_He's already here"._

"_What"?_

"_He's only a few streets away but we need to get back into the room"._

I turned away from Tamwar frantically checking the top of the door, patting the carpet. This was far from over.

"_Where is it, where is the damn key"?_ I tried to ignore the panic settling into my heart.

"_Found it"._ I snatched the key out of a triumphant Tamwar's hand. Without bothering to ask where he got it from, I turned it into the lock and pushed the door open.

**Tamwar's POV:**

I backed away from the door, and turned, running to open the front door. I looked around urgently tapping my foot. Come on, come on, where is he? He'd told me that he drives a navy blue sedan type car. I couldn't remember the company name. Looking around the street, I saw it was empty. Christian would have been with Syed for at least a minute now. Please, please still be Syed. I swallowed down the wave of nausea in my stomach. I looked down at my phone, where I noticed my hands were trembling. God, I was so scared. I took a few steps back, I couldn't hear anything. That was good, right? No news is good news or something like that. I looked up the road as I heard a small squeal of tyres. There was parking a few houses up, and I waved to him, catching his eye. He parked smoothly, and I waved again, making sure he'd seen me. Jumping out the car, he grabbed a black suitcase and started running down the street, his beard blowing in the wind, his pure white shalwar kameez rippling in the breeze.

"_Assalamalykum Tamwar. Where is your brother?"_

"_Walaykumasalaam. He's through there. Christian told me that it revealed itself to him."_

His dark eyes, flew up in surprise.

"_And what happened to him"?_

"_Well nothing, it left and then Syed locked Christian out of the bedroom and last thing that happened, as far as I know, is that Christian used the spare key to get back in but I had to come outside to let you in"._

He nodded swiftly at me, walking towards the bedroom, his suitcase weighing him down on one side.

"_What's in there? What's going to happen? Is Syed going to be alright?"_

"_It's just my equipment that's going to help me sort this out. I'm going to go inside and see whether Syed or the spirit is present and take it from there"._

"_You never answered my last question"._

The Imam stopped and turned to me.

"_Inshallah he'll be fine but only Allah can determine that. I can only try my best to save him"._

I gripped onto the wall, breathing heavily.

"_Please. Just try"._

"_Don't forget what I said to you on the phone. When the time comes, you have to do it"._

A shout filled out the room, and I felt fear. Without looking back, we ran ahead into the bedroom.

**Christian's POV:**

I prised at the fingers now gripping tightly around my neck.

"_Get off" _I tried with all my might to push my body away from Syed.

"_Arghhhh TA-WAR" _Syed was impossibly strong, the force behind the hands didn't belong to Syed. I saw the world spin before my eyes as I felt the hands tighten impossibly.

I heard a malicious laugh underneath me.

I struggled for breath as I fought against him. Less than a moment had passed when I registered Tamwar and a burly man pulling Syed off me. The Imam was here. I could hear him shouting in a foreign language barely pausing for breath. I didn't realise I could breathe again until the oxygen burned my lungs. I collapsed to the floor, crawling backwards, trying to put as much distance between Syed and me as possible.

"_He's going to help us Christian. The Imam knows what he's doing"_

I shook my head, coughing hard into my hands. No matter how hard I believed it, I couldn't believe it, that Syed would try and kill me.

"_No he didn't. That's not him, he's not acting on his own accord"_

I blinked at Tamwar stupidly, realising I'd vocalised my thoughts. I heaved my body up, leaning for support on the wall behind me. For once, I wasn't able to carry my own weight, and my legs felt like they were made of jelly.

I turned to Syed as he shouted out loud. I went to make a move towards him but was surprised to see Tamwar pushing me back.

"_What is he doing to him? I need to help him-"_

"_NO! Christian we have to leave the room right now"_

Suddenly he turned to the Imam, shouting at him.

"_You said it could take hours"._

The Imam responded in Urdu, shouting angrily at Tamwar, his eyes blazing. He had Syed pinned to the bed.

"_What's he doing to Syed?"_

It was my turn to shout at him.

"_YOU'RE GOING TO HURT HIM. STOP IT!"_

"_Christian, if you want my brother alive, shut up and leave the room NOW"_

"_I can't .. I can't". _

I allowed Tamwar to push me out the room as sobs took over my body. I could still hear Syed's shouts and calls from the other room. I felt my heart break as I knew there was nothing I could do. It was out of my hands. After all these months, the make or break day had arrived.

"_Syed's stronger than you think. He's going to be fine, there's nothing we can do except leave the Imam too his job. He's Syed's best hope"_

I slinked down the wall adjacent to the bathroom. Tamwar sat opposite me, holding prayer beads that I hadn't seen.

"_How did you know to leave? Why did we leave? I wanted to see that, I mean I couldn't see it but I wanted to – just why"?_

"_The Imam had told me when I rang him. He'd give me a sign and I had to remove myself and anyone else from the room"_

"_Why"?_

"_He didn't say. I think it'd haunt me for the rest of my life or something. I can't see my brother going through this, I can't" _His voice broke, his pain evident to see on his face.

I wrung my hands together. I rested my head against the wall taking a deep breath. I closed my eyes, mentally praying to whoever was up there to _please, please, please_ give my boyfriend back. Unable to take Syed's cries, I jumped up, hastily wiping my face.

"_Where are you going Christian"?_

"_We can't leave him in there, we have to help, we need to do something. You can't expect me to sit down and do nothing. That's – the guy I love in there and there is no way in hell I'm sitting back"._

"_You don't have a choice"._

"_Says who? Syed and I – We –"._

I took another deep breath, stopping. I looked at Tamwar, who had now stood in front of me.

"_Please". _

"_You'll regret it"._

"_How can I? I've never regretted a single moment of my relationship with your brother. I need to be there for him" _

I felt an icy chill that run through to my core as an excruciating scream filled my world. Tamwar spun facing the door, visibly shaking. Syed. It was Syed.

**Christian's POV:**

I couldn't move, my legs were rooted to the carpet. I couldn't sense anything else but Syed's pain. I felt my brain kick into gear as another harrowing scream echoed around the house. Pushing past Tamwar, I ran up to the door, frantically turning the handle. It'd been locked again. I felt anger and pain fighting through my body.

"_Tam, WHERE'S THE SPARE KEY"?_

I banged on the door not caring who could hear.

"_SYED! SYED! ARE YOU OKAY? OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN IT!"_

The scream stopped as soon as it started. I couldn't hear anything. Syed or the Imam. I didn't have a clue what was happening behind these doors.

"_Syed? SYED? WHAT'S HAPPENING? CAN SOMEONE LET ME INTO THE FUCKING ROOM"._

I spun around on the spot, Tamwar hadn't moved.

"_The key. Where's the key?"_

"_I left … it's.."_

"_HURRY"_

"_The dressing table"_

"_What"?_

"_Inside. I left it inside"_

"_Oh you have got to fucking be kidding" _I punched my hand against the bathroom door. I was acutely aware of the pain or the blood.

He shook his head meekly.

"_I'm sorry, I didn't – I forgot – it slipped – I'm sorry" _

My ears cocked up as I could hear chanting coming from the room behind me? I had to get into the room.

"_Get back Tamwar"._

"_What, why"?_

"_Don't ask questions. Just move". _

Pushing him back into the room, I eyed up the distance in front of me.

"_Are you going to kick the door down"?_

"_No, I'm going to paint on it instead. Of course I'm kicking the fucking door down. Didn't you hear your brother? Now what's the Imam's name"?_

"_What"?_

"_Can you stop answering a question with a questing for 2 bloody minutes? Oh forget it!"_

"_Ali. It's Imam Ali"_

"_Stand back"._

Looking back towards the door, I called down the hallway.

"_I'm kicking the door down. Get back". _

Without waiting for a response, I ran the length of the hallway, and stretching my leg out, I kicked the door with all my might. I felt a pain shoot through my foot as the door broke away, slamming straight back into my face. I stuck my hand in catching the door before it closed. Shielding Tamwar's view, I half walked through the door, holding it in place. I felt my breath catch as I saw the sight before my eyes.

Syed was sitting on the bed, wearing a black robe that covered his entire body. His entire face was covered with a scarf, and the only thing that was visible was his eyes. I felt shock run through me as Syed twitched and whimpered in front of us. His eyes were wild with terror and it was clear he was in pain. I felt my heart breaking, staring at him.

"_Don't come any closer". _

He'd barely stopped for breath as he continued his.. praying? I dragged my eyes away from him and looked down at the source of the voice. The Imam had a small white box in front of him. On top of it was resting 3 stainless steel glasses upside down. Glasses? This had to be the biggest April Fools ever. Of all the fucking things in the world that was going to save Syed, it involved glasses they drunk out of in the revolution age. I felt a push behind me, followed closely by a muffled voice.

"_Let me in Christian"._

I instantly pushed him back, holding the door tighter, There was no way I was going to let Tamwar see his brother like this.

"_No". _The word left my lips on a whisper.

Syed's eyes grew bigger and bigger as he arched his back forwards. A long drawn out noise left his mouth. I couldn't even identify it and the only description for it was someone in the most horrendous pain possible.

I couldn't take my eyes off him, I couldn't move, I couldn't even breathe.

"_CHRISTIAN. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY BROTHER?"_

I could still hear the Imam talking away quietly, almost to himself. Only it wasn't. Things suddenly began to happen very fast. I felt a cold breeze in the room and all occupants of the room sensed it. I could hear a clattering sound and looked down at the glasses in shock. One of them was violently shaking, and the Imam was holding it down, talking louder and louder. I couldn't take my eyes off it, how much strength was needed to keep a glass down? Why was it shaking? Syed shouted again, suddenly clutching at his head, as if he was trying to rip it off, before clawing at his body. I felt my body react and just as I moved towards him, with a final scream that collided with mine, he fell on the bed, his body limp.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, I've been really busy with Ramadaan. I'm not totally satisfied with this chapter.. but I'm just posting it! **

**Thank you to everyone for your feedback on the last chapter :)**

**Much love CC xx**

**Syed's POV:**

I was dimly aware of faraway voices calling my name. I couldn't move any of my muscles. My mouth was dry and parched. My head was throbbing. Suddenly it hit me. Christian. Possession. I pulled my body and mind back into reality and instantly regretted it. I shouted out wordlessly as I felt my body aching beneath me. My eyes fluttered open and I dragged them shut again, the sunlight hurting my eyes. I could feel the bed underneath me and someone holding me close to them. Christian. I could also hear his voice.

"_Syed! Sy, can you hear me? Open your eyes babe, please". _His voice was thick like he'd been crying and it broke on the last word.

I struggled to sit up, was he okay? What'd happened?

"_Oh thank you. Thank you so much. Syed, I thought I'd lost you"._

"_I told you he'd be fine if you waited"._

I felt his body crush against my face. Pulling back, I slowly opened my eyes, registering the pain in my body. I blinked a few more times against the sudden import of light. I realised that I was lying flat out in the bed and Christian had sat and managed to wedge himself awkwardly underneath me. My brain registered the sights around me. I saw Christian's face anxiously hovering over mine, his eyes were shining with tears. His face lit up like a beacon as they met with mine. I carefully stretched my lips and attempted a smile.

"_Where's the fire"? _I flinched as my voice scratched against my throat.

"_Oh Sy!". _Tears fell from Christian's eyes, splashing onto my face. I gently moved my head, pretending it bothered me.

"_I'm sorry. I thought I'd lost you. I really did."_

Before I could even think about responding, I saw a glass in front of my face.

"_Here, have some water Syed"._

I looked past the glass and smiled at Tamwar.

"_Thanks". _I struggled to sit up, allowing Christian to help me while trying not to flinch. I didn't notice the glass being removed from my hand, until I felt another glass being pushed into my hand accompanied with:

"_Drink this Syed, it's Abi Zaam Zaam". _

I nodded at Imam Ali. I met his eyes and asked him the unasked question. He shook his head briefly at me, indicating with his head to finish the drink instead.

"_What's wrong with the water that Tamwar got"? _Christian frowned suspiciously at Imam Ali, before taking the glass out of my hand and inspecting it.

"_Christian.." _He looked back at me, questioningly. I raised my eyebrows at him and wiggled my fingers for the glass. I wasn't ready to argue with him and I was parched.

"_It's Holy Water"._

"_Oh". _He handed the glass back guiltily and I could feel all eyes on me as I shakily stood up and turned around, facing the opposite direction of the room. I murmured a few Arabic words and drunk the water in 3 sips. Handing the glass back to Imam Ali, I turned to Christian and Tamwar.

"_You're both going to have to leave the room"._

"_Fine"_

"_What? No way am I leaving you"_

I shook my head affectionately. Typical Christian.

"_Can you go and buy me some Gulaab Jaaman please"?_

I couldn't help but smirk as Christian bit his lip, clearly not wanting to argue with me. We both knew it'd take him at least 20 minutes driving time. I met his aquamarine eyes and pleaded with him. I had to talk alone to the Imam. Reluctantly, he understood my message and walked towards the door.

"_Come on Tamwar. Are you sure you're okay Syed"?_

I nodded. Tamwar left the room first, whereas Christian hesitated scanning my face for any signs that I wasn't sure.

"_I'll see you in a while" _I mouthed to him, barely moving my lips.

"_I love you" _Christian mouthed back before shutting the door behind him.

Neither of us moved as I waited for the inevitable click of the front door, which came a few minutes later. Confident that they were gone, I sat on the bed, shaking.

**Tamwar's POV:**

I stared out the window awkwardly. The atmosphere in the car was tense and neither of us had spoken all the way there. We were driving back to Christian and Syed's flat, with Syed's Gulaab Jamaan sitting safely in the boot. I felt angry that Christian hadn't allowed me to enter the room but a part of me was secretly relieved that I didn't see him. All I'd heard was Christian's scream and by the time I'd gotten into the room, Christian was cradling Syed in his lap, begging him to wake up. I heard Christian drum his hands on the steering wheel, looking impatiently at the traffic ahead of us. I sneaked a glance at him from the corner of my eye too. There was a small smile on his face but there was something about his body language, I couldn't quite manage to put my finger on it. I cleared my throat quietly, grabbing his attention.

"_What's up Tam"?_

I frowned, not quite sure what to say to him.

"_Why didn't you let me through the door? I mean, in those last minutes"?_

He sighed quietly, not answering me straight away.

"_I'm sorry Tam but .. I think that if you'd seen him .. like that.. It wouldn't have done you long term physiological damage and I'm not even overreacting.. for once"._

"_But he's my brother Christian, surely the choice should have been up to me? I really thought you respected me as an adult"_

"_.. and I do.."_

"_Then why did you make the choice for me?"_

Neither of us spoke and I turned away from him embarrassed. I didn't normally speak up but it was just so _frustrating. _Why does everyone keep on treating me like a baby"?

_Did Syed ever tell you about how Amira found the truth out"?_

"_No. I mean I saw it in the house, obviously. But he'd never said a word about what happened before that"_

"_Would you like to know"?_

I felt a small swell of pride that Christian was actually asking me.

"_I wouldn't mind knowing, I guess"._

"_I don't want to bore you down with the details too much, but there was a lot involved. There was 3 people, love, phantom pregnancies, families, communities, respect and religion". _

"_Sounds like something off the TV"._

I grinned at Christian as he turned to me raising an eyebrow, smirking.

"_Oh believe me, mine and Syed's life has enough drama's to fill an entire series"_

"_Why don't I find that hard to believe"?_

We shared a smile and I waited somewhat impatiently for him to continue. I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a small part of me that was curious.

"_Syed only got married because he didn't want to let his family down. He honestly believed that he was doing the right thing for everyone but like usual, he didn't take into account his own feelings"._

"_And what about your feelings?"_

"_What about them"?_

"_Did Syed take them into account"?_

Christian didn't answer me as he parked the car up outside the house. I felt a small disappointment that we were home already. This conversation was just starting to get interesting. He turned the ignition off and sat thinking in silence.

"_I think he did, but not properly. I think Syed thought that if he got married, I'd move on and forget about him."_

"_And did that happen?"_

"_Of course not! I could never forget him. I loved him more than I'd loved any other man, even at that point". _

I squirmed uncomfortably, before releasing my seatbelt.

"_But what about Stratford? Leyton? Leytonstone? Or something like that. I swear it was some town in East London or something"._

A half laugh and half cry filled the car as Christian rested his head on the steering wheel.

"_Leyton! God, he was an utter nightmare and an extremely stupid mistake at that"_

"_But I thought you said you never moved on from Syed after the wedding". _

"_Tam, yes I slept with other men but no, none of them meant anything. It was just sex. Nothing else. If the question was, did I not think about Syed every day? Did I not wish it was him in my arms, my bed? Then yes I did. Every single day. But since I met your brother.. I've never loved anyone else and I never will. Leyton was just some guy that I can't even remember. I was angry, hurt at Syed and that was just my way of retaliating, proving to myself that I could get over Syed when the truth of the matter is that I couldn't. They, they just weren't him"._

"_Wow". _I spoke eventually. I don't know what I'd been expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't that. I don't know what was shocking me the most, the bitterness at his memories or the devotion he carries for Syed?

"_Sorry, I got a bit off topic there"._

"_It's fine. I don't mind hearing this. I guess in a strange way, I do want to know about your history. And my brother's. I mean together"._

"_I wouldn't have enough hours in the day to tell you". _

"_Your feelings? Syed taking them into account"._

"_Oh yeah" _He chucked quietly. "_Look, in a nutshell, he thought he was doing best for your family. Something I always knew from early on was that I'd never measure up to your family. They were the 'number 1' thing in Syed's life and I came second. I don't think Syed ever saw himself leaving Amira. He thought I'd find somewhere else and that was that but on the wedding day…" _He bit his lip, throwing a glance at me with a guilty expression.

"_The wedding day.."?_

I could see Christian debating with himself on whether or not to continue.

"_On the wedding day, I met Syed in the café. It was just me and him. We spoke, briefly. Me suited and booted and Syed just looked…"_

He trailed off, smiling at the image that was so clearly imprinted in his mind.

"_We spoke and I asked him to re consider just one final time. He told me he couldn't. I told him that I loved him and that I knew he loved me. He admitted that he did love me but he loved his family more. He told me to come to the wedding for Amira and I ended up leaving the café, distraught. There was a small incident just before I left and I won't tell you what that is. But in his eyes, I could see just how much your brother had tried to keep everyone happy. And he couldn't have everything onside and he ended up letting go off me". _

So that's where Syed had disappeared too. I was seeing it in a whole new light now. I was desperate to know about that other 'incident'.

"_And what about the latter incident"?_

"_I'm not going to tell you Tam"._

"_Oh please Christian, I'm curious now"._

"_It's private". _

Maybe I didn't want to know then. 'Private' between them often involved sticking their tongues down each other's throat.

"_I feel bad. This is all you're getting out of me. It was a 'if you love someone, you'll let them go' moment". _

"_Wow. This really could be on TV"._

"_And the whole world would be captured by Christian and Syed's forbidden love story" _

He rolled his eyes.

"_And hey you could even have a couple name. I hear they're all the rage"._

"_What __Systian"?_ Christian snorted fervently. I laughed out loud. It sounded so naff.

"_Or better still.. CHRYED". _

Christian stamped his foot, laughing loudly.

"_I've got to tell Syed about that". _

We both trailed off, each smiling to ourselves.

"_How did the conversation get here again"?_

"_No idea, it was something to do with.."_

"_..me trying to figure out why I wasn't allowed to choose. I mean it's not like I'm 20 or anything"._

"_Oh yeah. Basically the moral of all of that was this. Sometimes other people have to make choices for you, regardless of your age. I chose to 'out' Syed because of the circumstances at the time. I thought that I knew what was best for everyone at the time and it was something I did. It's not something I shout about from the rooftops and yes, I wish Syed had told the truth himself.. but he didn't. And everyone's living with the consequences with it. Syed chose to marry Amira because he really thought he was doing the right thing and he chose to let me go.. no matter how hard I tried to cling to him. I chose not to let you in because I didn't want you seeing what I saw. It would have hit you hard and you said so yourself, you're only 20. I wouldn't want something like that having long term impact on your life". _Christian paused to take a breath, caught' up in the scene. "_Syed was at a scary place and I've never been so scared in my life. I really thought I was going to lose him. I only did it with your best interests at heart. I'm sorry Tam but if I could go back in time.. I'd do it again and that's the truth"._

I didn't move as his words sunk in. In simple truth and when he put it like that, I could see why he did it. I smiled at Christian, he really did look out for me.

"_Thanks Christian"_

"_Hey, anytime". _

He touched me lightly on the shoulder.

"_Now what do you say about getting these Gulaab Jamaans back to Syed before they go off"?_

"_Sounds good to me"._

We both turned towards our own doors when I spoke, without really registering it

"_You must really love Syed."_

I heard a small chuckle behind me. I guess he didn't need words.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Enjoy! (A few chapters to go still :)) xx**

**Syed's POV:**

I really needed some paracetomol. After Christian and Tamwar had left, I'd read Namaaz and prayed with the Imam. The Imam had left me as I'd sat reading on the prayer beads. I'd finished and was ready to find out what happened. But I just wanted a paracetomol.

The Imam entered the room just as I folded the prayer mat.

"_Sorry, I was just coming next door"._

"_It's fine. We can speak in here"._

I nodded at him and gestured at the chair, for him to sit down. He ignored me and sat on the floor instead. It would have been rude if I took the chair so I sat opposite him on the floor.

"_What happened"?_

"_Enough that you're lucky to be alive"_

I nodded at him.

"_Did I hurt anyone"?_

"_Christian"_

He was musing over it, thoughtfully. My blood ran cold.

"_What? How badly? Is he okay"?_

"_It tried to strangle him. Luckily Tamwar and I made it into the room on time and we managed to pull you off him. No harm done"._

"_No harm done? I .. This.. It could have killed him"._

"_Could have. But it didn't"._

I bit my lip, tearfully. I'd hurt Christian. I knew this was going to happen. I just knew it. I tried to tell him to stay away but he kept coming back. And I'd put my own hands around him and tried to strangle him to death. I felt disgusted.

"_There will be parts of your memory that you will never remember from today. This will only be whenever its completely taken over your soul. It's not your soul experiencing it so you won't remember at all. I suppose you're lucky because you wont have to live with what happened even though it happened in your body"._

"_What else happened"?_

"_Well it was there with an ultimate purpose of killing Christian and it would have stuck around to make your life as painful as possible"_

"_Would – would it have killed me"?_

"_Christian, yes. You maybe not straight away"._

I nodded unable to feel anything.

"_Who would do that"?_

"_I have the name of the person who was behind it, if you want it of course"?_

"_No. I – I don't want to know. Not yet anyway"_

"_Of course Syed. When I removed the spirit from your body, the person behind it would realise what had happened. So they will know about this. I've put protection up around you, Tamwar and Kamil. It won't be able to harm you anymore"_

"_Thank you. Thank you for protecting my brothers as well"._

"_It's what I do. You should thank Allah that you're still here. It simply wasn't your time to go"_

"_I – know. I'm so grateful. Can I ask why did they do this to me"._

Imam Ali didn't reply straight away. His brown eyes pierced through me, as if he was trying to read me. I blinked and looked away slightly uncomfortable.

"_I think you already know Syed"._

"_It's because of my sexuality"._

It wasn't a question, it was fact.

"_Yes. The person behind it, really doesn't think much of you. They wanted to have you either dead or in as much pain as possible because they thought it'd hurt your family. Some may call it revenge"._

"_Revenge"? _My laugh was incredulous. "_Revenge is locking someone outside the house, or eating the last favourite ice cream or at a stretch not telling them that you have tickets to see their favourite show. Revenge isn't black magic, and trying to KILL them and their boyfriend". _

I stopped for breath, shaking my head. Who? Who could do this to me? I wasn't sure if I wanted to even know. The Imam looked at his watch before looking back at me.

"_What was under the glasses"?_

"_It was your hair. They'd managed to get a hold of some which they used. It could have been anything like nails, skin or even photographs or clothes that you've worn in more extreme cases"._

"_Wh- what have you done with the hair"?_

"_I've disposed of it. You need to make sure that you maintain good personal hygiene"._

"_I do. Christian and I – we're both clean people"._

"_Where would they get my hair from"?_

"_An old hairbrush"._

Silence fell between us and I tried to take it in.

"_I need to be home in time for Magrib Namaaz Syed. But there's something I need to ask you first"_

I nodded at him, curious.

"_It's to do with Christian"._

I had an inkling about what he was going to say.

"_Is this what you really want?"_

"_Yes"._

"_I mean, are you sure"?_

"_I've lived a lie for most of my life. Being with Christian, it's right"._

"_It's wrong Syed"._

"_No it's not. I don't expect you to understand, I can't. But these feelings inside of me, they just won't go away. It's stronger than feelings. I didn't choose to be this way. Allah created me like this"._

"_Homosexual feelings stem from the influence of the culture that surrounds you"._

"_It's not. I wish I could help you understand. I knew something was up from a very young age. An age where I was at school, playing cricket in the street with my friends and attending Mosque regularly. What culture there influenced me?" _I didn't wait for a reply. "_There wasn't one. This- being gay is a part of my identity. I've accepted that". _

I defiantly gazed at him, I was sick of having to explain myself. I'm gay. I'm a Muslim. This _is_ me. I'm Syed Masood.

"_Okay, fair enough. Just remember that we don't live forever. This if anything should have shown that to you. If you know that you can face our creator on the Day of Judgement while choosing to live like this, then that's your choice"._

"_I can. I will". _My voice was quiet.

"_Can I ask you another question"?_

"_Please, by all means"._

"_Why did you come?.. I mean I don't mean to be rude at all. But your father didn't want to have anything to do with this. You're an Imam and I didn't think you'd help me knowing that I'm living with another man"._

He laughed softly.

"_You answered the question yourself"._

"_Did I"?_

"_I'm an Imam. I believe that I've been put on this Earth to help out our fellow people. It's not up to me judge people. Only Allah can do that"._

I nodded at him. That made sense.

"_Then why don't our Imams help more people like me"?_

"_That probably has a lot to do with their own prejudices"._

"_But –"_

"_No one's perfect. We're humans too remember"._

He was standing up now, preparing to leave. I stood up with him, his words hitting a chord.

"_Is there anything else Syed? Any more questions"?_

"_No- that's fine. Thank you, so much. I mean, I owe my life to you"._

"_No – you owe your life to Allah. It's like I said, it just wasn't your time to go. Now Mashallah I've noticed that you're still praying and keeping your faith. You need to keep a hold of it. Don't let it slip away"._

"_I won't. I'm a Muslim. That's also part of my identity". _

I held the door open for him, allowing him to leave the room first, following him to the door.

"_Are you sure you don't want to stay for dinner"?_

"_I really need to be getting back. If you need to get in contact, please do"._

"_I will do, thanks"_

We walked to the door in silence, I grasped his hands thanking him once again. A moment of spontaneity came over me.

"_Who was it"?_

He looked at me, critically.

"_It was your Uncle Inzamaam". _

My breath shook. _Him. _I watched from the corner of my eyes as Christian and Tamwar ascended the stairs. I couldn't focus on them thanking him. I stepped back, closing my eyes. My own uncle. For a brief, fleeting moment, I'd feared hearing my parents name. But I knew that no matter how much they hated me, they couldn't do something like that to me. I blinked as I heard the door close, trying not to show my expression on my face.

I stood facing Tamwar and Christian. I watched them both, none of us breaking the silence. I smiled at them and Tamwar shuffled forward, putting his arms around me.

"_Syed. You're back"._

"_I didn't go anywhere"._

He pulled back, now slightly embarrassed.

"_I'm just going to go inside and leave you to it"._

"_It's fine Tam, we're coming in too"._

He sloped off through the open door, shutting it behind him. I turned to Christian, finding him standing in the same spot. I attempted a smile at him as a torrent of words passed through our eyes. His aqua marine eyes were relieved, his body language was slightly tense. I took a step towards him, reaching for his hands. I squeezed them reassuringly. My eyes dropped to his chest as he exhaled slowly.

"_Hey. It's me"._

I stepped closer keeping our hands between us.

"_It's you". _

We laughed quietly never taking our eyes off each other. Leaning towards him slowly, I allowed his scent to settle around me. His green eyes sparkling, as we finally kissed.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Just another chapter to go! I'm keen to get this wrapped up before leaving for University… xx **

**The Next Evening:**

**Syed's POV:**

I flopped down on the bed, exhausted. I wanted nothing more to curl up in a ball and fall asleep. I'd briefly spoken to Tamwar and Christian last night before falling asleep on the sofa. I'd woken up this morning, to find Christian camped on the floor besides the sofa. Apparently, he didn't want to wake me up and get me to move because I was so sound asleep but he didn't want to risk waking me by carrying me either. Instead, he'd grabbed the duvets and settled down on the floor besides me. I'd felt my heart swell as he explained it to me. It was possible to love him more than I already did. Tamwar had somewhat begrudgingly admitted that he had to go home this morning because dad was coming to collect him from halls of residence. We'd set off at 11am to drop him off and got caught in traffic on the way back. When it was just Christian and I in the car, neither of us had spoken. Despite my half hearted protests, he'd taken my hand in his and kept one hand on the steering wheel. I'd dozed off in and out of sleep while my brain ticked over everything that had happened. I kept waiting for some kind of delayed aftermath like a breakdown. The thinking that everything might go back to 'normal' was a foreign concept for me. At this moment in time, I couldn't think past the last few weeks of torture.

I knew I had to talk to Christian, just explain but neither of us had spoken. This was going to be our first proper 'alone' time in ages. Without Tamwar in the house, and with me no longer being possessed. Christian had jumped straight in the shower and I'd come straight to our room. I looked around the room. Christian had already straightened our room up, there was no traces of the events from the last 24 hours. As if it never happened. I sat up, resting my chin on my knees. I heard padded footsteps approaching the door, and turning my head I waited for him to enter the room.

There was a small look of surprise on his face as he entered the room.

"_Hey" _I smiled at him. He met my eyes for a moment before briefly dipping them away from me.

"_Hey" _His voice was barely a whisper. I allowed my eyes to scan over his body. He was only wearing a towel around his waist, not that I was complaining or anything. I watched him as he rooted around for some clothes in the drawers. Neither of us spoke and I allowed myself to watch him.

Dressed, he came and sat besides me on the bed, one leg dangling down. He stayed staring at his lap. I focused my eyes more clearly and noticed that he looked tired, stressed even. His shoulders were scrunched up to his neck and there was 2 small bags underneath his eye and a frown line setting into his face. His laughter lines weren't as clear as they usually were, drowned out by the sadness on his face. I felt a pang in my heart as I realised that I'd done this to him. I reached over and stroked his face. He turned away from me.

"_Christian"._

He shook his head unable to answer. Slowly I untangled my legs as I turned him to face me. I caught his face in my hands and slowly tilted it up.

"_Look at me Christian". _

His eyes eventually found mine, and with a heavy heart I noticed that he had tears in his eyes. I didn't drop the connection in our eyes, unable to tear my eyes away from him.

"_I'm sorry Sy. I'm-fine". _

Pulling him into a hug, I tried to put all my unspoken words into some form of comfort for him. He squeezed his arms around me, nuzzling into the gap between my neck and my shoulder. We stayed like that for several moments, neither wanting to move.

"_Christian, we need to talk"._

"_No kidding"_

I chuckled quietly, breaking our embrace.

"_Are you alright"?_

"_I'm fine. I promise" _He smiled shakily at me, his eyes clear. I shuffled along the bed, allowing Christian to lay on the bed next to me.

"_So, how you feeling Sy"?_

"_Tired" _I admitted.

"_What do you want to speak about first then"?_

"_Dunno, was thinking maybe the weather"._

"_God, we've become boring". _

I nudged him with my arm.

"_Just because you're getting old"._

"_Hey, I'm not old. I told you a thousand times, it was NOT a grey hair, merely a trick of light"._

"_If you say so"._

The friendly banter was mainly a cover for the issues that neither of wanted to broach just yet.

"_I keep thinking yesterday was a dream"._

"_You're not the only one"._

"_I was so scared for you Sy. I thought I was going to lose you for good". _

"_I'm here though, aren't I"?_

I dropped my head on his shoulder.

"_I'm sorry Christian"._

"_What on earth for"?_

"_Everything. Almost killing you"._

"_How can you even apologise for something like that Sy? It wasn't you, was it? It was that thing, and it's finally gone. Don't blame yourself okay, I won't have you doing that"._

I didn't reply straight away. It didn't stop me from feeling guilty. Christian groaned and turned to face me.

"_Stop it right now Sy, I mean it"._

"_Stop what? I'm not even doing anything"._

"_This guilt trip. I know you're probably beating yourself up inside about it. You were possessed and you're more worried about me. Jesus, how did I end up with the most selfless man since Christ himself"?_

"_I'm not that selfless" _I mumbled.

"_Yes you are. Now stop it. I don't blame you at all and you shouldn't blame yourself for any of this at all. Whichever sick, twisted' person did this, they ought to rot in hell for all I care. And if I ever find them, I'll string them by their ankles but believe me Syed, this is not your doing at all"._

I bit my lip. I couldn't tell Christian it was Inzamaam. He'd kill him. Unless he asked me directly if I knew who was behind it, I wouldn't tell him. Allah would deal with him in his own way. Maybe not in this life, but the hereafter.

"_I know Christian. I just – wished we didn't have to go through this"._

"_I know babe, and neither do I. But you're still here and I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for life". _

I pretended to roll my eyes.

"_Great so I'm stuck with your egotistical, vain, muscled self for the rest of my life? I must have done something really bad in a previous life to be suffering so bad now"._

"_Oi, you. Watch it". _

Christian pulled me down, rolling on top of me. He pinned my arms down staring hard at me. His face relaxed into a wide licentious grin. I felt my breath quicken as his intentions became clear. It'd been far too long since we'd done anything. I wanted him. He dipped his head closer to mine, stopping short of my lips. I groaned quietly, unable to take his teasing. I closed my eyes allowing his breath to wash over my face.

"_Christian.." _

"_That's my name"._

My breathing got heavier as he moved against me.

"_You were saying something Syed…"_

As much as I loved it when he called me 'Sy', there was something about him using my full name that caused my heart to quicken.

"_I can't remember" _I admitted truthfully.

"_Good"._

I scowled at Christian as he pulled his head away from mine.

"_Oi, I was trying to kiss you if you don't mind"._

"_And I've got work.. hold the thought until I can clock off work though". _With a wink, he climbed off my body.

I scoffed at his back, if he thought he was getting away so easily then boy, did Christian have another thing coming. Jumping up after him, I blocked his exit. With a smirk, he raised an eyebrow at me.

"_Yes, can I help you"?_

"_Damn right you can". _

I pushed him backwards, falling onto the bed with him.

"_Syyyyyyyyyy…. I really.. need.. to go.."_

"_Remember how you told me that I was the most selfless person since Christ less than 10 minutes ago"?_

"_Vaguely"._

"_Well I'm about to prove you wrong"._

I lifted his arms, removing his top.

"_And if I hear the word 'work' one more time, I'm officially leaving you for the guy down the road. It makes you sound old. And finally, have I told you that I love you". _

I stopped, watching his face for a reaction. His reply came on a whisper.

"_4 times"_

"_Nope, I'm sure it was 5"._

"_It was 4. I think I'd remember". _

"_I love you Christian". _

His eyes sparkled at me and I watched his face light up. The reaction from his body alone was amazing and worth every word.

"_See, told you it was 5 times"_

I hid my face in his chest, slightly pink. It wasn't the kind of thing that I verbally told him everyday but mentally, I thought it everyday. Wordlessly, he began removing my clothes, never taking his eyes off me. I blushed under his gaze before he pulled me towards him.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Wow, the final chapter's here! I just want to say a _BIIIIIIIIIG_ thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read this, review this and enjoy this fiction. It's been a rollercoaster journey for me as an author especially with this massive topic that I'd taken on. I hope that I've managed to do it some form of justice and to the jaw droppingly gorgeous couple involved.. Christian and Syed.

I promise to let you read in a moment (what would I be without my long A/N's? :p) .. I have to say thank you to **OnlyTonight3/Holly, J3mm4nn and Emma-Sauras **for putting pressure on me at the right times :D

My FINAL thank you _must_ go to the wonderful **Saz **and **Chryedian (**she knows who she is :p) for putting up with me and being there every step away! Whether it was texting them at 2.30am with this story idea, or giving me tips at 8.30am in the morning or putting up with me at 1am when I freaked out that I'd manage to kill Syed in my fic and was close to hysterics… *Oops –Love ya Syed* …. I really appreciate it and without you, I would have given up a long time ago! So this chapter is dedicated to both you amazing ladies! Love you! xx

And **WFCTGIO – **YOU ROCK! :cool: xx

*Shuts up – this isn't an Oscar speech* .. Please read and enjoy! It's a bit cheesy but hey..I hope it lives up to your expectations.. :)

As ever, Love CC xxx

**2 years later:**

**Christian's POV:**

The pier. It was Syed's idea to come here tonight. He wanted to watch the sunset and even though I'd ribbed him for it, I understood why. The sunset here was absolutely beautiful and the sharp fiery colours dancing on the water in those last minutes of light was an awe inspiring sight. His body heat is bouncing off him. I can feel his warm thigh resting against mine, legs touching and.. he's just slipped his hand into mine. I brush my thumb against his, making slow circular motions, caressing him. Love, eh? It wasn't exactly my forte and I never expected it.. but I wouldn't have my life any other way. In a way, a part of me wishes that I'd met him earlier. I'm not talking about 10/15 years earlier but at least 5 years earlier. I'm 44 turning 45, and I met Syed when I was 37. We became a 'proper' couple when I was 39. I'm not exactly getting any younger whereas Syed's still in his prime, only 33. The knowledge that with every passing year, I am getting older isn't exactly something that brings me comfort.. whereas a word, look or erotic touch from him makes me aware with the fact that there's no one else in the world that can have that effect on me. However, I do sometimes wonder if we'd met earlier what would have happened? Would I have been too immature to realise this amazing person that I had and let him slip away? Or would Syed not be comfortable with his sexuality enough for anything to happen? But I do know that the here and now is what counts and every day with him is my idea of perfection. I know that I never want to wake up without him besides me. I don't think I believe in Destiny. It'd probably be cheesy to say that Syed's my destiny.. I think I just got really lucky with him. To find someone who is as in love with you as you are with them.. nothing in the world can compare. Everything that we've been through- it's made us stronger. The black magic incident was a turning point for the both of us. Thinking I was going to lose him was soon replaced with the fact that our relationship wouldn't survive it. I couldn't be further from the truth if I tried! Somehow, blindly, we'd gotten through it and come out the other side relatively intact. My love for Syed - it'd deepened (even though I didn't think it was possible). Seeing him go through that, experiencing the atmosphere/changes in personality/fear .. I'd seen him change as a person and even though I couldn't physically help him, I just did what I felt was right. Whether that was staying away from him, holding him as he cried, listening to him or catching him when he fell.. I couldn't do anything else. I've never felt more out of my depth until that point but somehow, with Syed, we'd come kicking to the surface. Surviving that meant we could survive anything, and we will. Ultimately, this is what I've unintentionally been searching for. I never broke free from my bachelor lifestyle because nothing was worth it. And then I met Syed. And irrevocably, rapidly and deeply- I fell in love with him. In our hearts, we've found home.

**Syed's POV:**

Slipping my hand into Christian's, I kicked the warm sand beneath my toes. I smiled as two young children ran past screaming as someone (who I presumed to be their brother or cousin) chased them with a bucket of water. Looking ahead as the sun lowered itself further over the horizon I watched as the rays bounced off the water, sparkling as different shades of orange and red hit it. The sunset here was beautiful but even more so was the man I was sharing this with. Warm air hit my hands as he slipped his hand out of mine. I followed the screeching children with my eyes, smiling as their mother attempted to scold them, despite the fact that it was evident to see that she didn't want to get up from her beach towel. I felt a shiver run through me as a gentle hand played with the hair on the nape of my neck. I looked to my right and found piercing green eyes staring at me. Neither of us moving as we took all the time we needed just to gaze at the other. Eventually, I leaned forward into the lazy kiss, my eyes closing at his touch. I couldn't help but smile into the kiss. I held my lips back, as his musky breath washed over me. Our foreheads rested against each other and neither of us moved. Neither of us spoke. Words were irrelevant. I moved my hand, tracing a path up his perfectly sculpted chest, clutching at the black cotton material. I came to a rest at his heart and relaxed my palm, feeling the heartbeat beneath the skin. I stared at my hand, feeling the soft thudding noise that was steadily beating away. My smile broadened as I detected a small increase in the tempo and looking up, I raised an eyebrow at him. He held my gaze and I bit my lip just staring at him. His beauty was astounding, taking my breath away even nearly 6 years since first laying eyes on him. I felt an unexpected lump in my throat as various images came flashing through my mind. Images of our life together, this life that I'd clung too in my darkest moments.. this life that I was now experiencing with every passing moment.

I'd always had 'big' ideas when I was younger, building an empire, buying a mansion, flash cars, having a wife and children. An idea that I was in fact in love with, convinced anything else was inferior, not enough. However, I have a successful business, my partner, Christian, has a successful business, I live in cosy 2 bedroom house which I wouldn't change for any building in the country because it's home and finally I have a man. A man that I love more than anything in the world, more than myself, and for him I'd go anywhere and I'd do anything. All the heartache and pain we went through to get together, I wouldn't change it, because it's made us stronger people and experiencing life without him in those awful months has made us realise just what's at stake. Facing the sea again, I turn towards the sunset. His arms wrap around me and I lean my head against his chest, leaning my head back into the curve of his neck. For the first time in my life, with him, I'm content. I'm at peace with myself, finally.


End file.
